Obsession

3

•Vanna•

10:00am

Slowly opening my eyes I turn on my side in bed and look out the window to see the rainy outside world.

With my break from school I usually have nothing to do, that's why i hope to get this assistant job.

Most people in college go out and party, but I don't really have friends, more like acquaintances I only talk to one or two people in class.

I don't have a boyfriend either. I've never had one. Of course I had crushes in school, I had my first kiss, but it was only cause in middle school my friend dared me to kiss the boy who lived down the street, nothing special.

Being that I am nineteen for some reason I thought I would feel more grown up, more like an adult, but if anything I'm still like a little girl, I've never actually have had fun. I always listened to my parents, I'm still pure, most girls I knew lost their virginities at fifteen.
I've always wanted something special, not just a hook up.

Thinking about this makes me feel lonely I'm going to get up.
Sitting up in bed I stretch my arms above my head.
Standing I walk into the bathroom to take a shower.

~Showering~

After getting out I dry my hair, get dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants seeing as it's raining I am not going any where.
Im just going to watch netflix all day.

•G Dragon•

11:15am

Laying on my couch my body tells me to wake up but my eyes remain closed.

My head hurts, my mouth feels so dry, my nose stuffed up with who knows what.
Groaning I sit up and stare out the window seeing the rain pour down, wishing I could sit here all day.

~Ring~

Pulling my phone from my pocket my manager calling me.

GD: yeoboseyo.

M: GD remember you have an interview today at noon, I'll be there to pick you up soon.

GD: k.

Hanging up I walk into my bathroom looking in the mirror.
The face that looks back at me is a face I don't recognize. The face where I have done too much damage to.

Dark circles rim my sunken in eyes, red lipstick smeared on my mouth all the way to my hollowed cheek from that girl last night, my skin paler than most days.

Washing my face I put a snapback on jeans and a shirt, not feeling up to taking a shower.
Sitting in my room my phone rings.

~Eomma Calling~

Looking at the screen I contemplate whether to answer or not.

I love my mom, but if she knew how I am now it would break her heart and it would kill me.

Deciding against my negative thoughts I answer.

GD: yeoboseyo eomma.

Mom: Hi jiyongie. How are you?

Hearing her voice makes me feel like I'm not so alone. That im not insane but a kid again.

GD: I'm doing well eomma. How are you?

Mom: I'm doing just fine sweetie. When can you visit again.

I hate lying to her but I cant let her see me like this my mom knows everything she'll know I'm drinking more and on drugs.

GD: Not for awhile eomma im very busy.

Mom: Oh w-well okay it's okay hunny I'll just call you more.