Into the Light

A new Professor

Snape sat absentmindedly before his fireplace and stared into the dancing flames. He had planned to visit Miss Abbott after dinner, but to Severus' chagrin, Albus had spontaneously called him for another meeting. After the meeting was over, Snape had then come to Slytherin's common room, but he had not found Miss Abbott there. Julie had been clearly depressed when she had sat at the dinner table that night, poking at her food, without eating anything. He too had lost his appetite and had paid no attention to his food. Snape had wanted to go to her, he had wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her so much, but then he found no words to express what he felt.

Now it was late in the evening and his clothes were already packed, standing beside his door. He had to leave the next morning. But he was not ready to leave Hogwarts, he was not ready to leave her. The stress, which he had felt in the afternoon, had now turned into a blank feeling. He could not even get angry about what happened that day. Even fatigue seemed to have distanced itself from him. A strange state, Snape thought.

A sudden knocking interrupted his thoughts. Snape rolled his eyes annoyed and only stood up when the knock repeated. Only Albus had the nerve to disturb him that late at night, he thought, as he headed for the door. When Snape opened his door, he was surprised to see Miss Abbott. Dressed in a simple Slytherin sweater and sweatpants, she stood before him 'armed' with her little pillow and looked at him quizzically.

Without saying a word, Snape gestured her to come in. Julie headed immediately for the armchair on which she preferably sat. She sighed as she sat down. Julie angled her legs to her body and her chin rested on her small pillow that lay on her knees. After a few minutes she began to draw small patterns on the armrest. She noticed, that the armchairs fabric and patterns were both rather dated. Nevertheless, she liked them. It fit into his office and to Professor Snape.

Snape watched silently as her slender fingers drew circles and other shapes on the armrest. He was glad that she had come and leaned his head slowly back without averting his gaze from her. He looked at her hair, which was slightly disheveled. A proof that she had been lying in bed before she had come. His thumb ran slowly down his fingertips while he imagined, to wake up next to her.

Julie looked up and their eyes met. He had watched her while she had been thinking with nagging frustration about the turn of events. Professor Snape's expression was blank, but in his eyes she seemed to see the same feelings which she felt, namely anger and a lot of frustration. Were this his feelings, or did Julie project her feelings onto him? She sighed softly.

"I'm so sorry," said Snape suddenly.

"Is this your fault," she said gently, while she was searching in his eyes for the answer.

Snape took a deep breath, "Not really," he said softly. "But," he looked at her doubtfully, "You could say that I am myself to blame. After all, I'm the one who has made the decisions in my life. And
some of my decisions were wrong, as you already know."

"Are you having problems," she said clearly worried, "Because of what you've done before?"

Snape immediately shook his head, "No, it's something else."

Julie nodded and a few minutes passed, until she spoke again.

"This came as a shock to me," she admitted softly, as she looked at the floor and nervously tapped her foot.

Snape nodded slowly, "I felt the same," he replied.

Their eyes met again.

"Where are you going," she said gently, and added at once, "If you are allowed to share this information with me."