Into the Light

I can't do that without you

The silence persisted several minutes and Snape was getting nervous. He knocked gently on his bathroom door and waited for a reaction. Nothing. His fingers ran tentatively over the doorknob.

"Is everything all right," he asked gently, his eyes fixed on the door. There was no answer. Snape shook his head and mocked himself. What a stupid question. Of course, she was not fine. Miss Abbott had slept half an hour. Then she woke up, with a strong urge to vomit. Now she was still in his bathroom. Snape did not care that she had vomited several times. No, but the peace worried him, which followed Julie's suffering. His hand approached the doorknob again before he lowered it once more. He could not just go to the bathroom when she was in there. Snape leaned his forehead against the door, closed his eyes and waited.

"Miss Abbott, are you okay?" He asked in a new attempt to get a response from her.

A frustrated sigh escaped his thin lips and his fingers ran again over the doorknob. Perhaps she needed this moment of peace? Maybe he should not have brought her home? Did she feel uncomfortable in his house? Or maybe she wanted to just be alone for a moment? Snape wondered what he would do if he were in her situation. He would seek solitude - what Miss Abbott apparently did. She would tell him if she needed help, right? Snape pressed his lips into a thin line. Would she ask him for help when she needed it? Again he played with the idea to go into the bathroom. His fingers traced small circles on the doorknob until he lowered his hand again.
His body tensed and he opened his eyes abruptly. She cried. Now he heard it clearly. He knocked again softly at the door before opening it slowly. Carefully, he poked his head into the bathroom. When he saw her cowering on the floor before his bathtub, he came in and went to her. Julie had pulled her knees up against her body, her arms rested on her knees and her face was buried in them. Snape knelt down and put his hands gently on her shoulders. She did not respond and continued to cry. He pulled her close to him and hugged her. What could he do otherwise? Every word that came to his mind seemed to be stupid and inappropriate. After a moment of uncertainty had elapsed, Julie moved her arms, which had clutched her legs and wrapped them around Snape's torso.

He could not say how long they sat there, but at some point she stopped crying. Since Julie apparently did not intend to end their embrace, Snape remained seated in the same position. His posture tensed briefly when Julie nuzzled her head against his chest. Oh, it felt so good. What was he doing here, Snape wondered. The right thing, answered his heart, while his hateful inner voice screamed that he made a fool of himself. Julie would never reciprocate his feelings. Snape growled, upset about these thoughts, startling thus even himself. Miss Abbott flinched and loosened her grip immediately. Fool, Snape thought as he slowly let go of her.

"I'm sorry," she murmured softly, looking down in shame.

Her cheeks were heavily blushed and still wet from the tears which she had shed.

Snape immediately shook his head.

"You do not have to apologize," he said, looking at her searchingly. "I'm not angry with you," he said to reassure her.

"Oh, I thought I'm disturbing you," she said almost inaudibly, glancing up at him.

Disturb him, Snape thought incredulously. If Miss Abbott knew ...

"You do not disturb me," he said. "Shall we go back into the living room," Snape asked to change the subject.

It worked and Julie nodded. He stood up and offered her his hands. She put her hands in his and Snape stilled for a moment and looked at them. Her hands were petite, with long slender fingers, where he discovered two small white scars. Probably she had burned them on a cauldron, suspected Snape. He slowly pulled her up, which was relatively easy for her petite figure. Snape pushed away all doubts and wrapped his arm around Julie's waist to steady her. Together they went back to his living room, where she made herself comfortable in his armchair. Then he moved a chair closer to her and sat down.