Into the Light

A price must always be paid

Snape stood in his private potion room and stirred a potion lost in thought. A deep growl escaped his lips as he looked through the window at the Forbidden Forest. Why had she declined his offer? It frustrated him deeply. Did Miss Abbott doubt his motivation? What was his motivation? Snape's lips were set in a straight line. His inability to help her, leaving a bitter aftertaste. He furrowed his brows. The sour smell what unmistakable. Only now he noticed the blackish smoke which rose from his cauldron. Snape growled angrily as he glanced at the potion. He had stirred it wrong. He had messed up two weeks of work and effort. Snape made a small noise of disgust before he grabbed his wand.

"Evanesco", he murmured. The potion disappeared completely and Snape put out the fire under the cauldron. He leaned against the table and looked sullenly at his stores. Snape wondered if he should begin to brew the potion once more. He lowered his head and growled softly. He was convinced that tonight was not a good time to do so.
"There's a first time for everything," he muttered. Snape had never before ruined a potion. He walked over to the shelf where he kept his most precious potions before he took a cloth and began to dust off the bottles. His movements were slow and careless, while he thought of Miss Abbott. What would have happened if he had not gone? She might have changed her mind. But his disappointment was too great to stay with her. Perhaps he should have insisted that she accepted his help?

"Maybe, maybe," said Snape grumpy as he knocked over a empty bottle, which fell to the ground and broke. He rolled his eyes angrily and shoved some of the broken glass with his shoe to the side before he went to the table to fetch his wand.
"Reparo," Snape said angrily. When the bottle was intact on the shelf again, Snape threw the cloth angrily in the corner. "Idiot," he growled, before he went to the window and opened it. The sour smell of the potion was still in the air. Snape wrinkled his nose and looked around the room. He walked slowly over to the table and sat down in his chair. Snape leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Why was everything so difficult? Why could it not be easy? If Miss Abbott would come for tutoring on Wednesday he would again talk to her about his offer. Why did she chose to suffer more than necessary? He could make her live much more pleasant, but she did not give him the opportunity to do so. Was it possible that she was afraid? If so, what was the reason for her fear?

Snape opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Of course, why he had not thought of it before? Even if Miss Abbott was tempted to let him help her, she would decide against it. She was afraid to show him her memories because it would bring her vast amounts of suffering and pain. A part of him was glad that she did not want it. First, he was emotionally involved with her. Second, he would have to open himself in order to understand her feelings. He would make himself vulnerable. A feeling that Snape loathed. Furthermore, he would share her pain. Without doing all of this, it would not be possible for him to brew the sleeping potion for her. He shuddered at the thought. Was there another way how he could help her without having to do this? No, Snape knew none. He growled in frustration and rubbed his temples with his index fingers. Snape paused and looked to the door which led to his office. Had someone just knocked? He glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven o'clock at night. Snape's expression darkened dramatically as he got up to see who dared to disturb him at night.

Julie winced when she heard the knocking. Was she completely stupid? What had she expected when she came knocking on Professor Snape's door ? Probably it was not the sound of her knocking that had frightened her but rather the fact that it was nearly eleven o'clock at night, and she was supposed to be asleep. Students were not allowed to leave their dormitories after ten o'clock at night, what to speak of their common rooms. And now she stood lightly dressed in front of Professor Snape's office. Her heart was beating rapidly and she bit her bottom lip nervously. Nothing moved in the professor's office and Julie wondered if she should knock again, or rather return to her dormitory. She took a step back to do the latter. But then the door opened. Snape's expression was very angry, but when he saw who was standing at his door, he was curious and looked at Julie questioningly.
Julie saw his angry expression and dropped her gaze to the ground.