Fawns In Thorns

Intoxication

"I'll stay with her."

We all turn to Jin.

"You want to stay with her? You sure?" Namjoon asks confused.

"Sure, I'm too tired for a run anyway." Jin replies stretching his arms.

"Can't I stay with her?" V asks pouting.

"I don't trust you alone with a girl." Jungkook says standing up.

V scowls but stands up too.

"Let's go get our stuff and we'll meet downstairs."

They leave the room leaving Jin and I alone in silence.

I cross my legs to try and occupy myself to see Jin has his crossed too so I uncross my legs.

Looking around the room I realise there is a big chandelier above me. This room is probably bigger than my small house.

I get my phone out and pretend to text someone when really I am on my notes writing nonsense.

He clears his throat which makes me look up. I look over to where he was but he's not there.

"Ji-" I turn to my right to see him sitting closely next to me.

"Hmm?" He asks looking into my eyes.

"N-nothing." I whisper.

Why am I whispering?

"I'll be right back." He stands up and walks to the door.

"You're going to leave me here?" I ask.

"Only for a few minutes." He replies and leaves the room.

I am swallowed by silence again.

Why don't I go home?

I've done the project, I just have to hope Jungkook doesn't forget to bring it to school tomorrow.

Also, I'm thirsty.

I decide to walk over to the window covering one of the walls.

You can see streets lit with small beams of light for miles around. Unfortunately the smog of Seoul blocks the stars and the moon at night.

I remember when I still lived in England, in the countryside. I never appreciated the stars or the moon. They were there every night, why would I? Now I miss them. It's funny when you lose something you love them more than when you had them.

I remember looking out of my window at the blanket of darkness with specks of light dotted around. I remember the moon shining brightly.  I remember talking to the moon and asking him if he could take Mother and I away from Father. I guess my wish was granted, with a price.

I hear a clink and turn around to see Jin with two wine glasses and an expensive looking wine under his hand.

"I'm under age." I remark.

"Not when their is an adult with you." He replies and sits down.

I walk to the sofa and sit down next to him.

He unscrews the cork and pours us both a glass of wine.

"I don't think I should drink this." I say.

"Why?" Jin asks after gulping down most of his wine.

"I don't like alcohol." I reply slowly swirling the wine around in circles.

"Why?"

"Because of the smell."

"Why?"

"Why do you care?"

He pours himself another glass and sips this time.

"I'm just curious that's all." He says looking up at me while sipping his wine.

"You barely have spoken to me before. Why should I talk to you now?" I ask.

"Because when I'm intoxicated I talk too much and my honesty haunts me."

"Your honesty haunts you?"

"I am most honest whilst drunk." He replies pouring himself a third glass.

"Then why are you drinking?" I ask confused.

"I'm an alcoholic." He replies looking me dead in the eyes before sipping on his wine again.

"You should stop drinking."

He laughs.

"You don't really think I stayed with you because I was tired? I stayed so I could drink wine without them pestering me to stop."

"Maybe you should listen to them." I say putting my glass down on the table.

"I'm the oldest and richest, I can do whatever I please." He sneers.

"You sound like a stuck-up brat." I reply.

"That's because I am. I want to blame my parents for my behaviour but they didn't raise me so what did they do wrong?" He says but it seems like he's speaking to himself.

He pours himself another.

"You were adopted?" I ask shocked.

"I wish." He chuckles. "They were always gambling in far away countries. Coming back home only to fight and scream at each other then go to different countries only to come back and do the same thing. I haven't seen my Father in eight years and my Mother in nine. I don't know where they are, what they are doing, what they even look like!"

The rumours were right about one thing I guess, his parents were gamblers.

"I wish my parents never saw each other." I sigh.

"You don't understand." He says after gulping down his wine. "I've never been cared for or loved. I don't believe in love. It's just a made-up thing that people make you believe so you feel better about life. Or maybe I don't believe it because I've never experienced it? What does love feel like, Lucy?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Everyone says it's the best feeling in the world. I deserve love, don't I? All I've ever wanted is to be loved. I try to love girls but they only want me for my money or my 'sex chamber ' or whatever they are saying." Jin sighs and let's his head fall back. "I want to be loved. I want to love someone."

"Bangtan love you." I say quietly. "And you love them too."

"That's different." He sighs. "We have to care and love each other or were not a gang."

With no words left to say my eyes wander to the clock.

3am

"Fuck, it's 3am!" I swear jumping up. "I've got to go."

"Don't be stupid you can't walk in pitch black." Jin slurs.

"I need to get home."

"I'll drive you."

I look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Fine, I won't drive you but a girl can't walk down the streets alone at this time. Do you want to be raped?"

I pause.

This part of the area is known for its citizens to he mostly made up of criminals.

"Well, what do you suppose me to do? You can barely get up from the sofa so you can't walk me home." I ask.

"Stay here for the night."