June (Part One)

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The end is so near but so far. One week left of these exams. One week left of school. One week left of high school to be exact. It's a day I have been counting down for ever since I first started high school, ever since 'follow your dreams' meant do something academic with your life and now that day is so close. I just have to get through these last few exams, like the maths one I am currently sitting.

I used to think, back before I got pregnant, that year eleven would be the best school year of my life. The British equivalent to senior year in America. I used to love being on the dance team and helping choreograph the younger kids, it made me feel important. I imagined that the exams and lessons wouldn't be as stressful as they are and I would be able to enjoy them more. Instead it has probably been the worst.

I've had to stop dancing, at least for now and in all honesty I don't know how I would have coped having to balance dance, exams and pregnancy this year. It would have been too much for me to handle. Lessons have been harder than ever and I've had trouble catching up on work. And life is only going to get harder from here.

Thinking about all this makes me groan in frustration as I walk out of my first maths exam. This was not the way my life was supposed to go.

"Did I calculate it right that Barry wanted 48 watermelons? At one point I got 98 but I thought that was a bit excessive." Laura asks.

"I got 58 and do you honestly believe that 48 watermelons are not excessive?" I ask, trying to make light of the situation while secretly hoping that everyone else got the same result as me.

"Well none of us know for sure what the answer is." Adam tells us I think to reassure us.

He reassures Laura further by putting his arm around her and pulling her in for a kiss which makes the rest of us turn away. I look over at Maddie and notice that she isn't looking away but instead staring directly at Laura. I turn my gaze away from her before she sees me looking at her and instead focus my view on Cory. He looks at me and smirks which makes me smirk back. 

"At least there are only three exams left; history, geography and the final maths paper. Then it is finally the summer holidays where we can just sit back and relax." Laura says after she has finished making out with Adam.

"Speak for yourself. When the summer arrives, so does this one." I tell her while pointing to my ever growing bump. My summer is going to consist of changing dirty nappies and sleepless nights not late nights partying with no worries at all. I am going to miss those days.

"Will you be still attending the sixth form like you have always planned?" Laura asks me.

"Yeah, I have too. By law I still have to be in education or a full time job until I'm eighteen like you guys. It might mean I have to do more work from while I try and find childcare. The baby will barely be two months old by the time we go back to school." I explain. There is a part of me that is glad that I still get to go back because I'll be able to do what I've wanted to do. It will just be figuring out my hours that will be the hard part. 

Before I know it I'm home again and all I want to do is relax but instead I have to revise for my geography exam which is tomorrow afternoon.

"How do you think your exams have gone so far?" I look up from my text book where I am currently reading about volcanoes and stare at Cory who had asked the question.

"Alright I suppose. I do feel like that I could have done better but there's nothing I can do now to change that." I say to him. "How about you?"

"The same really. I think you always think you could have done better afterwards." He says and then stops talking. I look back down at my textbook making sure I know the difference between a destructive and constructive plate boundary and how the volcanoes vary on the different boundaries. "Have you always wanted to stay on at the sixth form at school?" Cory then asks me.

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