Dance As The Sun Slips Away (Synyster Gates)

Unmasked Fear

Penny's POV
Gwyn and I went to lunch before she had to leave. They brought us water and we were looking at the menu to order.

"Penny, I hope you don't mind I invited Adam to join us." She said

"Um, sure that's fine. I'm surprised though, I thought you weren't that interested."

"I had a good time, I wouldn't mind getting to know him better. I think we were both just worried about you that night."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"You don't have to be sorry, it impressed me that he cares so much about his patients." Gwyn said. "So tell me how you and Brian are doing?"

"We're good. The illness has been rough, but I think we are closer than ever."

"So how's you sex life?" Gwyn asked.

"Jeez Gwyn!!"

"Oh come on, we've talked about it before."

"Well, we don't really have one right now." I realized.

"Did Adam say you couldn't?"

"No, he didn't say anything about it."

"I guess it makes sense that you two would decide to hold off." Gwyn said.

"We really didn't make a decision, we just haven't. I've not felt good so much and I assume he doesn't want to push me when I am not feeling well."

"Well, you have lost quite a bit of weight. Maybe it's not your illness that is holding you both back. Maybe you're self conscious and maybe he...

"You think he's not attracted to me anymore? I am sure that is not it. We take showers together all the time. We took one the other night." I wasn't insecure or worried until this conversation.

"Since when do the two of you take an innocent shower?" Gwyn asked.

"Ever since he was in the coma and I started losing weight." Suddenly I felt like crying.

She started digging through her purse. "Crap! I left my phone in your car and I am waiting for a call from my editor."

"I'll go get it for you." I said, getting up and leaving quickly.

I went to my car and thought about what she said. Is Brian not attracted to me anymore? Would he want to even take showers with me and see me naked if he wasn't? Maybe he wants to, then he sees me naked and it turns him off. That can't be it, I decided. He's just been holding back for my sake. As far as me being self-conscious, I may be thin but not skin and bones. I decided to let it go and go on with the afternoon. I brought her phone back in. She was still alone and I really didn't want to continue the previous conversation.

"No Adam yet?" I asked.

"I accidentally told him 11:30 instead of 11:00, It's 11:30 now, he should be here any minute. Let's go ahead and order."

We had just gotten our food when Adam arrived. "Hello Ladies, I'm sorry I'm late."

"Hi Adam." I said as he sat down at the table. My mind was still preoccupied with the earlier talk with Gwyn.

"I'm glad you could make it Adam. I wanted a chance to say goodbye and thank you for a lovely evening the other night. It was really nice getting to know you." Gwyn said.

"It was my pleasure; Penny obviously has friends just as lovely as she is." He said.

I must have blushed, my face suddenly felt warm. "Adam, you flatter me. You have seen me at some of my worst."