Dance As The Sun Slips Away (Synyster Gates)

Lady Unlucky

  Dark Years Brought Endless Rain

Penny's POV
Six years ago, I never thought I would go to a metal concert, especially alone. I didn't even get really into metal until I was in my late 30's. I was dating my now ex-husband and I started listening to the radio station he listened to. There was a song called "Nightmare" that I loved, I had to buy the CD and loved all of it. This was it, the band that really drew me in.
Normally, I wouldn't have gone to a concert alone, but Avenged Sevenfold was the band I had wanted to see the most. With no one to go with anymore, I had no choice.
My ex-husband Jay was a true gentleman, but also had a slight bad boy side (at least to me). Sex was amazing and we couldn't get enough of each other, in or out of bed. He introduced me to new music and going to concerts. He played guitar and would play for me, I loved watching him. We seemed to have a perfect life, then he paid less and less attention to me. Our lovemaking ceased to exist. I should have known that our nearly seven-year age difference would come back to bite me. Who wants an old beater with high mileage, when you can have a newer sports car with lower mileage? He had met someone younger than him without a grown child.
My heart was broken, it wasn't my first divorce and certainly not my ugliest. It still seemed to hit me pretty hard. It took over 10 years for me to trust someone and be in a serious relationship after my second husband. To finally give that trust and take that chance was really hard for me. Now not only did I have the original fears I had before Jay but I felt old and so undesirable. I had resigned myself that no one would ever want me again and I didn't want to take that chance. I know Jay didn't mean for it to happen, he wasn't that kind of man. I gave him a divorce and we parted as friends. It still hurt like hell.

Out in The Cold, I Lost My Way
The concert was 5 hours away, but I convinced myself that I had to go. I wanted to see this band live and see Synyster Gates perform, his talent amazed me. The venue was a casino and they had reserved seating (I'm not really fond of General Admission). I was in the front row stage right, it couldn't have been much better.
The concert started and it was incredible, absolutely the best concert I had ever been to. I felt so good, so alive. I also, of course, had thought of Synyster Gates as very hot (I'm older, not blind), but he had more maturity about him now than the past videos I had watched. He still had that bad boy charm. To say I was suddenly very attracted to him was accurate. Of course, a young guy like him would never even speak to an old lady like me, but imagine I could turn back the clock 10 yrs. didn't hurt, did it?
After the concert, I went into the Casino for a bit, but it was so crowded I went up to my room. I couldn't help wishing Jay were there. We had so much fun at and after concerts. I almost called him so that I could tell someone who would appreciate how great the concert was. But it was late and I am sure his new girlfriend wouldn't be happy.
I couldn't sleep, my mind was too filled with the awesome concert and the utter loneliness of feeling undesirable. I decided to head back down to the Casino, I'm not a Gambler but it was something to do. The place was practically empty at 2:00 AM and me sat down at a slot machine, I put in my ticket with $5 credit on it and began to play. I played until I had $83 and decided to cash out and head to bed, the machine would not give me the new ticket! I just lost it, I think all my frustration with my life poured out on the inanimate machine. I started yelling and hitting it, "You stupid Fucker!! I can't believe this shit, give me my fucking money!" Someone tapped on the shoulder and said "Ma'am" I was immediately jolted to my senses and knew that it was security. "You need to calm down, I am going to have to ask you to leave the Casino."
I was so upset I said, "But my room is here!"
"That's fine Ma'am, but you need to leave the gambling floor, please do so quietly so we do not have to forcefully escort you."
I starting crying, I have never been kicked out of anywhere. "But it won't give me my money, I just want my money!" The guard started to grow impatient and threatened to escort me out of the area and if I did not calm down, he would have me thrown out of the hotel also. "That's fucking bullshit", I said. The guard grabbed my arm and I told him to get his fucking hands off of me, I don't know what had gotten into me. I was losing it and taking all my frustration with my life out on this poor man.
I heard a voice behind me "It's okay, she's with me." I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked over at the hand and I could see tattooed knuckles, but that was it.