Diary of a teenage Christian

Honestly its time for honesty: chapter 31

I love my mother to bits and pieces and you only get one mother,you know?Having an alcoholic for a mother can be very tough, and if you're sensitive like me; then it can be very much overwhelming. Sometimes alcoholics say really mean things, that hurt your feelings, but won't remember it the next day. Not knowing if she means it or not, I forgive her and move on. I feel our relationship could be so much better if she didn't drink, but I'm ok with where it is right now. I do sometimes blame her for things, when things don't go exactly right; but it's not her fault entirely. She tries as hard she can and I appreciate her so much for that. I think sometimes, I'm just a hard headed teen, I'm still trying to figure out life and I haven't. Life just gets so overwhelming, and I just want to give up on God. I just don't have the heart to do that to Him, to turn my back on him; the one who created me. Just like my mom does and says things she doesn't mean, I too do that to God.  I'm at that point with God where I just want to be perfect for Him, I don't want to sin; but sin almost everyday. It's frustrating, but I trust God and His plan. I know everyone gets to that point where they feel God isn't doing anything in their lives, but that's when He's doing the most. Whatever you're going through, that's where He wants you. I'm slowly finding solace in Gods Love, and promises. A few days ago I went to God, with a heavy heart. I told Him what's been bothering me for a while and asked what I should do. Right now, all I think He wants me to do is have a relationship with Him. He wants me to read His word, and be an example to others. When it come to being an example, I feel like I suck at it.   So I've taken the initiative to  talk to someone about God, whether I feel comfortable or not.  You have to be honest with yourself, with where you are with God. In everything I accomplish, all the glory goes to God.

Stop embracing sin, and try to defeat it. Just because we know we can never be perfect, doesn't mean we stop striving to be like Christ. You have to be on purpose for God, you owe Jesus your life. You'll have some bad days, but you get back up and keep going, because you're not those things. This isn't Hanna Montana, we can't live a double life. Untimely we're not fooling God.