God is good and im trying to be : chapter 13

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Here I am catching up on all of my favorite tv shows, that's a way to start of my four day weekend! For the past few weeks I've been kinda in a grey area of coming to a new school, it's still all very overwhelming for me. My calling is to speak to people and encourage them, and reach them through my faith. It is to give them that option of salvation or let alone just a conversation about God, but I've been kinda forcing that thought on myself. I'm thinking God has called me here to do His works in the school, but why haven't I been getting out there lately. Then I realized God gives me those opportunities at His times, but I've at least mentioned His name to people at my bus stop and had  a full on conversation about Him. I shouldn't be forcing it, all the opportunities will come when I least expect it. For now I keep encouraging and being positive for others.

My second dilemma these past few weeks have been falling back into that one sin you just can't shake. I'm talking about I wanna lead a bible study group at this school, but I'd feel like a hypocrite if I did so. It was just that easy to fall back into cursing, and being angry. Most times my anger comes from letting other people get to me, and my anger go in stages from cussing, to crying asking why why why. I wish I wasn't so sensitive, maybe then I wouldn't ball every time someone hurt my feelings. The bible says to love each other as God has loved us, and I try to love people I do. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and I'm there for them; even when they screw me over or use me. Forgiving people that have hurt to you, do nag things you wish you you didn't.yes it's hard to forgive, but eventually it's gonna have to be done. That sin we just did two seconds ago and asked God in our foolish hearts to forgive, asking Him to guide us and use us, guess what let's pray He forgave it. So if God can forgive us, and still love us and we're trying to be more like Christ; so can we.

I also know that as still a human being it's in my nature to sin, we are never going to be good and God knows that.
When it should've been us, it was Jesus that died for our transgressions. All He ask of us, is to remain in Him, take up our cross daily, have faith in Him, lean on His understanding and to trust Him. Sometimes we fall out of track in those things, and we doubt but God never leaves us. God is waiting for us, right when we realize we needed Him more than ever and He is all we need in life.

Last but not least God sent me here right? So why can't I let go of my old home town and school. I'll tell you why, I got too caught in being involved and I'm not gonna lie freshman year was something else, but even in that, God was using me for the great or good. Anyways being here it feels different, but thats the beauty of missionary work; your going to go all kinds of places and most times they're not in the best conditions or the most uplifted place. In fact those things don't matter, what matters is making the best of it and thanking God it's not you, because it easily could be. It's about doing Gods works and putting hope into people's lives, to see light in people's eyes again. It's about seeing people give their lives to the Lord, appreciating what you have.  That's the way I see this year of school, and it also gives me more time to focus on my studies. Go above and beyond!

"If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well. If you can't be a pine at the top of the hill, be a shrub in the valley. Be be the best little shrub on the side of the hill.

Be a bush if you can't be a tree. If you can't be a highway, just be a trail. If you can't be a sun, be a star. For it isn't by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are."

- From the estate of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Hey guys I know it's been a bit since I've updated, but it is my life's story! So get into the word, make time for God.  I'll probably do another chapter tonight or this weekend, I have a lot on my mind! Love you all very much, pray God uses me in every way possible ad that i pass this year with great grades and a Good GPA and I pass m test next week. 😁😔😁❤️

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