I'm A Mess // M. G.

Chapter 39

"He was truly a wonderful man and husband. He showed me that I can love again, I had no reason to wait or be afraid. I felt free with him. What happened to him was terrible and I wish that his soul rest in peace. It's so hard to say goodbye to you but I love you. I know that my daughter would like to say a few words. " my mom announced me coming up after she's done her speech. Everyone clapped for her as she walked off. 

I squeeze Martijn's and Penny's hands, we're in the same row and I'm in the middle of them. I stand up and make my way to the mic. I wore black heels today.

"This speech is basically impromptu because I wanted to speak from the heart, I'm not saying that others didn't but to me it's just easier. All the important stuff will come to mind now. My dad... He was the one who taught me most of the things I love. I love hiking with him. I remember when we were little, we used to play football all the time and I'm the one who always got tired and hurt. One of my favorite things to do was to stay up late and watch the Liverpool games with him. I'm not one for speeches so please forgive me because I feel like a fish out of water right now. I remember cooking for him and Raj with my mom when I was little, he always tasted my food. One thing that I had left to do with him is travel but I know that he'll always be in my heart, he'll be there with me. I know that this must be harder for other people as well and I just want to say sorry, I know it's not my fault but I'm sorry. The gang that did this to him ? They will be found and they will be put to jail. I will not stop until justice is served for this great man. We're all going to miss him dearly. I know I'll miss his jokes and smart comments. I'll miss everything about him. Paradise. I hope he has a paradise where he is now. Somewhere no one can even begin to imagine. I love you dad, rest in paradise. Thank you all for attending and taking time out of your schedule to be with us this evening. Just know that it is much appreciated. You may make your way to the reception unless you want to watch the burial. " I finish and walk off as people wake up and wonder about.

I sit down back in my place and Penny hands me a tissue as I'm very teary. Martijn puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. Raj comes over and gives me a hug, he doesn't say anything, he just hugged me.

We all put a red roses on his coffin, that was his favorite type of flower. A red rose. They're a few in our garden and I remember when I was little I pricked my finger on a thorn from them.

Mom, Raj, Penny, myself and and my aunt all stood together as we watched his coffin go in the ground. Martijn was stood to the side along with a few family members. We said a quick prayer together and left.

"Shall we go ?" My mom asked. I nodded.

"You wanna go with Martijn ? He can drive you there. " my brother said

"Okay. What about you Penny ?" I ask her.

"I'll go with my mom. " she said.

I walk over to Martijn who's leaning against a tree and gives me a slight smile. He's wearing a suit today, that's something new. He should really dress like this more often, it's attractive. "So, I'm taking you ?" He asks.

"Yeah. " I breathe out. He grabs my hand and kisses it before holding it as we walk. I don't know where he parked his black car because he came a bit late.

"Where did you park ?" I question, seeing as we're passing a lot of cars.

"Just around the block babe. " he points ahead.