Radio Rebel||MGC

Chapter 13

Love hurts, it aches, and it leaves scars, but it will never compare to the pain I feel running through my veins. Michael is like a poison I've taken, and now finally it's taken affect. I think a shot of poison would've suited me better than living without Michael. 

I just arrived at Michael's on my skateboard when I realized it isn't mine. Michael had given it to me for my thirteenth birthday. It's now covered in band stickers and signatures, it still shows little cracks of the bright pink color that are slowly fading. 

I take the horrid reminder, and yet a wonderful memory from under my feet and make a vivid decision. I throw my skateboard into the trash and continue to walk up to the Clifford's door. I shut the door behind me and head inside, I head up the stairs with my head low and enter the guest room. 

I start to grab my things and shove them back into my suitcase that still stayed placed in front of my dresser for these so many months. So many things race through my mind and I find myself thinking...

Where am I going to stay?

There's no way I'm staying at my foster parents, I don't really have any other friends. Maybe Cameron will let me stay at the studio for a couple of nights. All I know is that the sooner I'm gone from this house the better. I swear I'm holding back a puddle of tears right now. 

How could he just leave me? And why does he think leaving me will make me better? I'm willing to fix this friendship if he is, but I know he wouldn't want to. He said it himself, we're both tired and I am, I can't just keep hoping for something that won't work, but isn't it worth trying? 

Can't you just say I told you so? He broke your heart now move on and prove to him you're better off without him.

I don't know about Michael but it's gonna take me awhile to get over him. He practically swoons girls off their feet in a matter of seconds, he doesn't think of me differently. I'm just another girl, another fling, and another mistake. 

I'm the mistake that ended our friendship, I'm the reason why he hates me, I ruined everything. I lowered my head as I sat on the floor near my suitcase and sobbed quietly. I hate myself for making him hate me, why am I so fucking stupid? How does a guy like Michael, flawless in every single way, fall into my screwed up life? 

He's right, if he stays here I'll be holding him back from his dreams. I love Michael too much to see him fail, especially if I'd wind up being the reason. I wipe my eyes angrily and pack the little I have left and start to rush down the hall until I run into someone. 

"Hey, Hey, Hey...shh Chrissy are you okay?" Michael asks me rubbing my back. 

"I'm obviously not okay Michael" I mumble pushing him away from me as I looked at my feet. 

"Hey I didn't mean what I said, it's okay you can stay as long as you like Chrissy my mom is okay with it" he said with a small smile as I pushed past him. 

"I'm sorry but I don't want to be another fucking burden to the Clifford family" I spat heading down the stairs as he followed. 

"Burden? Chrissy you were never a burden-" he started as I cut him off. 

"Never a burden!? Michael you just got done telling me about how much you hate me for coming into your life!" I yell as Mrs. Clifford enters the room. 

"Michael what's wrong?" She asked sweetly. 

"Nothing Mrs. Clifford, I was just leaving" I said quietly heading out the door. I heard muffled noises from behind the door but I didn't care to listen. 

Michael's Pov

Maybe I said things I didn't mean to say, but I wouldn't take them back at all. I knew after I'd left her in the drive way that she'd try to leave as soon as possible, and she did. I knew this was best for her, she deserves better and it's better if she moves on. 

I didn't like to hurt her, and it shattered my heart to see her cry. I had to do it, if I didn't she'd keep trying so hard to be with me. Well she shouldn't be, I'm faltered, broken, and lost. I don't know how someone so perfect managed to fall into my crumbling world. 

I know that the things that I had said would make her hate me for good, and I hope she does. Once I'm gone she'll be able to focus on her future and I can focus on mine. I think if we cross paths again I'd be willing to fix our friendship, but what if she doesn't? 

She probably won't, she'll probably be fixed into the life she made for herself and a simple greeting with me won't phase her, she'll keep going. I know I won't be able to, my heart would pull in so many different places, I think I'd have a heartattack. 

It's been technically 3 days since she stormed out of my house. I haven't heard anything from her or anyone else. The boys want to leave Sydney early and we're leaving today. I'm somewhat glad we are, because I think if I was here any longer I'd change my mind and come knocking on Crystals door on my hands and knees. 

I check my hair in the mirror and look at my empty room one last time. I never realized how much things have changed in less then a year. I remember telling Crystal on the first day of school that she wasn't the beautiful girl at the end of a grape jelly toast trail, but to be honest she was. She always was that beautiful girl I searched for, the toast didn't need to prove it to me either. 

I walk down the stairs slowly and meet my mother with tears in her eyes. I didn't meet her gaze because I didn't want to cry myself, but I hugged her and kissed her head. As she sobbed she hiccuped, and I rubbed her back and the let go. 

"I love you okay? Be safe" she smiled as I chuckled wiping a few stray streaks from my face. 

"I will mom" I laughed rolling my eyes playfully. I started to walk out the door as she grabbed my wrait and held out a envelope to me. 

"What's this?" I chuckled as she put it in my hands. 

"She left it for you" she said simply with a nod as I held it between my fingers and walked out the door with a wave. I placed the envelope in my jacket so the boys wouldn't make fun of me thinking that it was from my mom. 

Once we reached the airport I couldn't stop thinking about the letter. What does she say? Is she saying goodbye? What does it all mean? Once we board the first class plane I find the restroom and lock the door behind me as I lean against the sink. 

Michael, 

If I could say it a million times I'd say I love you, but this letter isn't about me it's about you. You were always so perfect even when we were kids, you would always have that glow about you that would always have me attracted to your light. I hate to admit it but I'd always try to make you smile even if you didn't want to, it just made me so happy to see you happy. Even when I was young I knew you were meant to do big things, even if it means you're away from me. i know that everything we've been though won't even add up to the time I'm gonna be without yo-

"Dude are you done? I have to piss" Calum complained as I chuckled. 

"Sorry I'm taking dump" I shrug as he groans. 

you. I'm not really gonna make it clear that I'll move on, cause my future is unclear. Yours? Yours is so is so clear Mikey, your gonna have so many things to live up to, I promise that you'll become that famous guitarist you always wanted to be. You'll be like Jimi Hendrix or Eddie Van Halen, wait forget Eddie Van Halen he was never that good, but you get my point. You'll be as great as you always lived up to be, and probably better. I just want you to know I'll be rooting for you here in Sydney and so will your mom. I will be behind any decision you make even though I still do love-hate you. 

-Chrissy :)

//

I'm crying and I don't have anymore tissues...

Hope you liked it!

New update soon!

-ily xx