Lily and James Potter (Review II)

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fredfredmoe30!

I will do a second review!!

This is very good! I can see improvement as you have spaced out the paragraphs! Just make sure you start a new paragraph everytime a new character speaks. Also start a new paragraph when the main idea changes. This you did... I'm happy you took my advice!!

I can see the difference, and it is much nicer for the reader's eye, making it easier to read.

AWESOME!

Noname O.o

Date: 3 October 2011

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