I'm terribly sorry, IlywarnAlopeks, that you had to wait so long. But I found my chance and will review your books. Since your other two are already finished, I will merely comment on them, and I will give a review for the unifinshed one.
The Hunt is On:
One thing. When you have dialogue, it goes like this:
Incorrect version:
-Hello?" He asked.
-Hi" The woman replied.
-"Where am-" He started to ask, but was cut off.
-You are in Ward 126473839 at MacCoy University in Haaggan." She said, checking he was secured.
Correct version:
"Hello?" He asked.
"Hi," the woman replied.
"Where am-" He started to ask, but was cut off.
"You are in ward 126473839 at MacCoy University in Haaggan," the lady said while checking he was secured.
You don't need the dash ( - ) before each thime a person speaks. If they are being cut off, you write:
Example: "Where am-"
See? the word ( am ), a dash ( - ) and a quotation ( " ) to finish where the character is done speaking.
Be careful to use quotation marks when appropriate.
Otherwise,
Good job!
Noname O.o
Date: 2 October 2011
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