Dearest hyperjellybeany...
Very well written! Just be careful of your spelling and punctuation....
-"Ur" being "You're" (you are) or "your" (possesive)
-"yeh" being "yeah"
-"2" --> please write the number "two" instead of "2"
-When displaying a character's thoughts, please italicize (italic)
Example (From YOUR text):
"2 water's and that's Miss Harrison to you" Or not, I frowned.
Corrections:
"Two waters, and that's Miss Harrison to you," Or not, I frowned.
-...'mouth-watering salads, not' --> ...'mouth watering salads... not.'
-Check any extra grammatical errors
This story really pulls you in. Very nice! Just make sure to read and review. Amelia/Amy is a very distinct character. The suspense at what happens next is annoying, which means: You did an AWESOME job!
You ROCK girl!
Noname O.o
Date: 3 October 2011
YOU ARE READING
BOOK SUGGESTIONS/ CRITICIZE FOR FREE! :)
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