His Frozen Heart

Twenty Three

Minji

He does circle motions with his fingers as he rub my arm. My head is on his chest, his other hands serves as my pillow, and my arms are wrapped around his torso. I close my eyes as I listen to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

"I love you," he whispers after kissing my hair. I open my eyes and stare at the fireflies in bottles which are outside our tent. We've been lying down in our comfy tent for hours now. I'm battling with the thought of whether I'll tell Myungsoo about my illness now or not yet.

I look up and stare at him. He stares down and smiles so sweet that it breaks my heart to imagine him in pain or sad. He deeps down and gave me a lingering kiss on my lips.

"Is something wrong?" He asks as I remain staring at him. I shook my head and cuddle closer to him. Not yet. It's not the time yet. I don't want to spoil the moment, to spoil what he feels right now.

"What happened to your mother?" I ask to divert what I'm thinking right now. He remained and I regret that I asked. Great, Minji! You don't want the spoil the moment by telling about your illness but you ruined the mood by asking about his mother! "It's okay not to answer."

"I was in the woods to hunt animals. A deer to be exact," he starts. "We were hunting for my mom to cook for our dinner. I was with my uncle, Woohyun's father. Mom was left at home and I wish I never did leave her."

I remained silent and listen to him.

"Woohyun's father suggested that we go deep into the woods. We saw a deer but when we we're about to catch it, a huge bear attacked us. Uncle and I fought with it and I noticed that he has this incredible strength. He got the bear down but that's what we thought.

"As we are tying the bear with a rope, it moved and clawed my uncle. He was badly hurt. I was about to help him but the bear grabbed me and pinned me on the ground really hard that I heard my back bones crack. I cried for pain and the last thing I saw before I fell unconscious was my uncle attacking the bear, his eyes dark red."

I start to breathe heavily as he continues speaking.

"I woke up feeling this certain dryness in my throat. I was still in the woods but I'm all alone, even the bear was gone. I started to think that it was all just a dream. I headed home and saw my mom pacing the floor, worry visible all over her face. She immediately hug me but I smelled something which made my veins go wild. The feeling I felt when I first had a smell of your blood. I immediately push her which made her stumble on the floor. She was shock at sudden action and got worried about me even more. I started to feel weird.

"She approached me but I begged her not to come near me. She insisted and what happened next was the most monstrous thing I did.

"Mom was on my arms, blood all over my hand and mouth. She's pale and cold."

I propped my elbow on the soft mattress and look straight into his eyes. He smiles at me but I see deep in his eyes that he regrets everything that happened. I cup his cheek with my free hand and smiles at him too. It pains me to see that he's emotionally hurt. He held my holds my hand that is on his cheek.

"I want you to meet her," he whispers which made me crease my eyebrows.

"What?" I asked. Instead of answering me, he stood up and held my hand to follow him. We stopped at a very huge tree on top of a hill and the open field can be seen from up here. I see a cloth tied to one of the branch and I wonder what it is.

"What are we doing here?" I ask as I face him.

"Hi mom," he said as he holds the cloth tied on the branch. "It's been a while since I last visit."

I covered my mouth to hide the O shape it formed and came closer to Myungsoo. Does it mean that I'm stepping on the grave of his mom? I stare at the ground to look for any signs where his mother's remains are but there's none. Not even a stone or something. I heard Myungsoo chuckle, he must've noticed what I'm doing.

"It's not here, babe. My mom's remains are not here," he said and I gave him a quizzical look.

"But you said...."

"They burned her. They thought that she was infected for they saw the bite mark on her neck. I was a coward for not facing them. I was scared," he bitterly chuckles. "I run far away where they can't see me. I only came back when they all left. I only had this piece of cloth of hers," he held the cloth. "I hanged it here to let her have a decent place."

I've been staring at him the whole time he's talking. He'd been through a lot. I walk closer to him and hug him. He hugs me back and kisses my hair then buries his face in the crook of my neck.

"I love you, Minji. And I'll do whatever it takes to make you safe," he whispers on my neck. He pulled slightly away from me and cups my neck, tracing my jawline as he speaks.

"I promise to tell you everything. No secrets," he said and leans his forehead on mine. It makes me feel guilty that he already opened up to me the most sensitive story of his life and yet here I am, still not telling him about my illness.

"No secrets," I whispered. In time Myungsoo. I'll tell you in the right time.