No Matter What // Zayn Malik

Chapter 33

it's slowly winding down to a close :( lol this was supposed to be an epilogue but i was like, nahh.

sorry my updates haven't been as fast but I think you guys are really going to love/hate me for what i'm going to do so, i love you guys. a lot. like a lot. hopefully you still love me. ;p

I FINALLY GOT MY KIK BACK UP. I'LL HAVE MORE DETAILS AT THE END SO YOU GUYS CAN KIK AND SPAM ME ALL DAY :)

sigh i should be studying. idc. forget you summer school.

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Chapter 33 

Our love wasn't perfect. Love never was perfect. Would our love ever be perfect? I wasn't sure. It wasn't easy to love someone when yu were completely unsure of who you were. 

Zayn and I split. On good terms. He felt the same way in fact. 

We talked over coffee at Cocoa and Dough's in our booth. We shared a pastry, danced to the same Beatles song like long before, and kissed and talked until Elaine had to close up.

"I just don't think we should do this now." Zayn said softly. "You know?" 

And I did know, so I nodded with small tears in my eyes. "I s-sadly agree. I mean your tour is coming up. I'm starting school again and it'll be difficult." I stared at the sidewalk and down at my boots. Zayn looked down at his "Olivia" tattoo after playing with his jacket a little. The wind blew softly around us as the night fell over us.

"You going to get it removed, Z?" I whispered. Z was a little nickname I had for him. It was when things were on better terms. He'd been my boyfriend for two years. He had always been what I wanted. I never caused him anymore trouble or kissed any guys I shouldn't have because I was feeling bipolar and confused. He called me his Barbie doll and I loved my Ken doll. He would snort because I called him a doll. I said he could be some G.I. Joe guy and that made him laugh.

Harry was completely okay and fine without me. I knew he didn't need me. Plus, I truly didn't love him. Zayn was the one I wanted. Harry and I were just best friends. We'd always be that way. And now, Zayn would be my best friend again. That's how we started out. I guess that's how we've ended up. Back to square one. 

"I could never forget such a girl like you, Olivia. Even if I did get this tattoo removed." His eyes were kind.

"I can't forget you either."

He wiped away my tears. "Shh, babe. I-It's okay." 

"I'm sorry for being such a drama queen, like really what girl complains about being called beautiful by her perfect boyfriend?" I laughed painfully.

"You already knew you were beautiful. That's all." 

"You made me feel beautiful. You really did fix me."

"You fixed me too." He smiled. "You got me to quit smoking. You reminded me everyday that I was me and the media had no control over who I am." His eyes watered. "You helped my sister, baby. You really did." 

Tears trickled down my cheeks and one fell down his. A single tear that made Zayn seem more human. He was human. A beautiful one in fact. A beautiful one who changed my life and even if he did leave me for good, his fingertips would still be along my body as memory. Everytime I stared in the mirror and see my blonde hair I'd think of him. He would still always be in my life somehow. No matter what.

"T-This is actually happening." I sighed heavily, my shoulders shaking.

"I'm still going to love you." 

"Same." 

I stared at the floor again, unsure of what to say. Zayn lifted up my chin and gave me a little smile. One that said, "You'll be okay."

"I have an idea." He said suddenly, perking up a little.

"What is it?" I sniffed as I wiped my eyes. 

"Five years." 

"What?!" 

"Five." 

"Zayn - " 

"We'll wait five years."

I sighed, crossing my arms. "That's a long time." 

"I waited for you. Remember?" And I did. And suddenly I felt awful for making him do so. "Anyways. It's plenty of time fo ryou to find yourself and get into your fashion school."

"And what w-will you do?" 

"Well." He sighed. "If the boys and I aren't together, I can get back into my art. Be a teacher. Something like that." 

"T-That's lovely. It's a wonderful plan." I smiled slowly, but it hurt a little. "Your art will be beautiful, Zayn." 

"Your first clothing line will turn heads." 

"So five years. We'll meet here?" 

"At Cocoa and Dough. Same time."

I nodded. "We'll get to follow our dreams." 

"And if the feelings are still there," Zayn began. 

"We'll go through with it and start over."

"Can we do one more thing together?" 

"Course, darling. What is it?" 

He took me to a tattoo parlor and held my hand as I got today's date forever enscribed on my left wrist - where our friendship braclets always rested on - and a small Z on as well. I noticed our initals made 'OZ'. Perhaps he was the magical Wizard who led me to the magical land. He saw me as Glinda the Good, yet I saw myself as the Wicked Witch of the West. 

I guess I'd be taking myself down the Yellow Brick Road to fashion school. Maybe I'd do something useful with my life. Hopefully it'd help me figure out who I was. If I couldn't find myself, I'd have to create myself. A new me. One with standards I could live up to. One who wasn't a people pleaser, but merely in it for me. 

Zayn kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me in sign language. He kissed my swollen wrist from the tattoo pen and told me some ice would do the trick. I cried that night. I cried from the pain of the tattoos and also because I was really missing Zayn. 

He cried too. I watched him pull out from the driveway with tears in his eyes. 

Five years was far too long, but I wanted Zayn to follow his dreams. I'd follow mine. Maybe life would take us down these roads and we'd keep going until we found each other again. 

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don't hate me okay. don't. i promise it'll be okay in the end bc it always is. ;p 

okay. so hope you liked the chapter! My new official kik is thelovelyrebel {the same as my weheartit if you were curious. if you weren't and just interested in my kik that's cool too you know.} so go ahead and kik me and spam me and feel free to just vent on there to me if you ever ever need anything!

okay, i have to go study and bury my face in a book about dead people and their mistakes (because that's all history is about. it's still cool though.) so i love you guys so so much! see you all soon! byeeee. xoxo <3