Guilt

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The guilt was huge, the biggest guilt she had ever had. She had been unfaithful to the man she loves, to the man that fills her with happiness and treats her so gently. She had only gone to the casino to forget her worries but she came out with a whole new worry. She had slept with Robert. Nicks chef. How could she? How could she have even stepped foot into that hotel room? The problem was that she never thought, she never thought about what she was doing and what she stood to lose. The only thing she stood to lose was Nick, he was her rock, he would hold her until she fell asleep, he would kiss her slowly and always show her how much he really loved her. Robert? He was a mistake, the biggest mistake she had ever made. She had made a lot of them throughout her life, Paul, Tony, Frank and Peter to name a few but this was huge, she had finally found a man who showed her respect, let her speak and he would listen, buy her gifts that showed his love for her but he also showed it with his actions, the way he would pull her into him, the way he would wrap his arms around her waist from behind, the way he would run his hands through her hair as she was falling asleep, the way he would rub her back when it ached, there was so much she loved about him but she had ruined their chances of growing old together, she just knew it, why would he forgive her? Nick was a forgiving man but he would be so heartbroken, so lost and empty, how could she do it to him? She had to tell him, she had to, but when? That was what Carla refused to decide. She needed it to be the right moment, she needed it to be done where it was only the 2 of them, just them, how she loved it.

"I slept with Robert" she stated. Those words being said aloud made her drop to the ground, she cried, she had told him, she had confessed to her biggest regret yet. He was taken aback, but he expected it. Things hadn't been right for weeks, the distance from the bistro, the distance from him, the look in her eyes, the mascara stains around her eyes, nothing had been right. He was shocked but he wasn't angry, he understood. He didn't understand why she had physically slept with him but he understands that her life had just been destroyed by Johnny, her dad. He knew she always pushes away the people she loves, he also knew that she self destructs and sometimes in the most major ways. He couldn't stand seeing carla in this way, he knelt down next to her, wrapped his arms around her and for once she lent into him letting her tears soak into his jacket that clung tightly to his body. "I'm so sorry" carla cried. Her tears wouldn't stop, she couldn't understand why nick was still here, was he angry? Was he shocked? Was he gonna leave her? Questions she needed to ask but couldn't, she was disgusted in herself already, did she really need to make it even worse?. He held her head into his chest, gently running his fingers through her hair trying to calm her down. He had never seen her break down like she just had, never. He wasn't angry at her, he was just disappointed. Disappointed that the trust they had was broken, he trusted her, he still does but she broke that trust that was concealed between them. "Shhh it's okay sweetheart" he whispered while containing to hold her. She knew it wasn't, how could it be? How could everything possibly be okay after what she's done. "How is everything okay?" She finally spoke, her voice quiet and a tone that broke nick, she was broken and this made him feel her pain, he couldn't bare her like this, she was distraught. "Everything is okay because I know it was a mistake, I know you never woke up and intended on sleeping with him, yeah I'm dissapointed but I'm not angry, I know I should be, but I'm not" he explained. Carla lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him, her tears had smudged her makeup, her eyes were red and she looked like she could curl into a little ball and never wake up. "Nick.." She started. "Look carla, I know your upset, I know you wish it never happened but I love you, I love you more than anything and I'm not about to throw everything away because of meaningless sex with my chef" he stated. Carla's eyes were dry, they were nothing but pure sadness, he still loved her after everything she's done and every other man would have ran a mile, ran somewhere far away from her as possible but nick? 'Im here for the foreseeable' was the 5 words that he had told her months ago, she thought that he was trying to rule her, over power her like the rest but he wasn't, he genuinely meant it and that's why, 5 months later, he's still by her side no matter what.

No person on this planet could be as caring and forgiving as nick was. He offered carla so much love, made her feel safe and secure in times when she never thought she could, he would keep her warm at night, he would comfort her during any minute of pain she was going through, he would close his business just for her, he would bring her lunch to the factory, he would make her breakfast every morning as he hated her getting food from Roy's everyday, he wanted to give her his love, and he succeeded and wasn't going to stop just because she slept with Robert, if she had done it because she wanted him or was a having an affair then the situatation would be a whole new story. He would not understand, he would not forgive her and he certainly would not be letting her lay into his chest while they watch a stupid cooking show like they are right now. He loved her, and she loved him but this time she was going to think before she acts and try her hardest to not ruin anyone else's lives. She loved nick so so much and if she lost him, she would break into millions of pieces, her life would be in ruins without him, but with him? It was heaven on earth, she just needed to believe that what she had with nick was real, and now after this, she had.

Thankyou so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, I really hope nick and carla can survive this but for some reason I really don't think they will. Please let me know in the comments what you thought and don't forget to vote x

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