As Fortune Would Have It ✔

{Chapter 19}

PICTURE OF HALLIE ABOVE:
ISN'T SHE GORGEOUS?! IF ONLY I WAS PRETTY LIKE THAT ^^

There was something seriously wrong here. Something was wrong with me. There had to be. Because that's the only thing that could explain what was going on.

I just kissed Andy, my best friend, the guy I had sworn to NOT fall for. Emphasis on the NOT.

I was in a relationship, it's not like I was single, because if I was, that would've been a different story.

So, based on that logic, technically, wasn't I cheating on Jake with Andy?

No, I wasn't.

I paced back and forth in the kitchen, thoughts spiraling around each other without fail.

But.. that kiss obviously meant something to me. And if it didn't, I wouldn't even be questioning things, right?

Right?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION BECAUSE I'M GOING CRAZY!

I chuckled to myself, still pacing.

Great, now I've resorted to talking to air because it's not like anyone can see or hear my thoughts and help me with this situation.

Ugh.

I sighed, covering my face with my hands.

Footsteps came down the stairs and stopped abruptly.

Lisa.

"Hey, Hallie. What's up?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "The ceiling."

Lisa nodded her head in approval. "I'm happy to see some of my sarcasm has rubbed off on me and entered your system."

I rolled my eyes again and continued pacing.

"I hope this isn't offensive- but just WHAT are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm pacing. You know, that thing you do whenever you're stressed out?"

Lisa balled her fists. "I'm not an idiot, Hallie."

I laughed. "Well, you asked a stupid question, so you got your answer."

Lisa gestured back to me. "Look, I don't know exactly what is going on, but would you mind going upstairs? Mary's coming over in a little while so we can watch the Ryder Earrings' contest."

I scoffed. "So nice to know my personal problems are interrupting your contest."

Lisa smiled. "Oh, no you're not interrupting. Yet. But, you will be in," She paused to check the time on her phone. "Ten minutes."

Whatever. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from the counter. "Fine, I'll go upstairs."

Lisa did her happy dance. "Yay! You're the best sister ever!!"

I was halfway up the stairs before I decided to reply. "You only say that whenever I do what you want!!"

"Exactly! Which is WHY you're the best sister ever."

I smiled, shaking my head. Lisa. Sometimes, I swear.

I entered my room, and closed the door shut behind me.

Silence and solitude were my worst enemy.

Within them held something I didn't want to admit to myself. And that was the truth. Reality was a better word.

My feelings for Andy was not just platonic, it was more than that.

I wasn't just attracted to him, it went deeper than the surface.

I felt something so strong for Andy, and that's why I think I held back from him, out of fear.

I can't keep denying my feelings for Andy anymore. It's impossible.

Because the more I'm around him, the more they grow. And the more that I keep denying them, they grow.

So, I decided I had a choice to make.

It was either Andy or Jake. It was either the boy I liked from the beginning, and have no idea whether the relationship will last, or the boy who's been there with me through everything, through thick and thin, the one who's always had my back, my protector, my savior, my best friend, my brother, but more importantly, who had the capability to be my love, if I wanted him to.

I sighed shakily and put my head in my hands. God, this was a tough choice.

But I knew I couldn't keep avoiding everything like I had been, I couldn't keep pretending like all I felt for Andy was friendship, whenever it was more than that to me.

And I couldn't use Jake like that. I couldn't keep stringing him along just because my heart was confused.

It just wasn't fair. Just because I couldn't choose between the two of them didn't mean that gave me the privilege of not letting one know my feelings.

So, with that thought in mind, and after a very long, complicated thinking process that I was finally able to sort through, I had figured out who I wanted.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and sat on my bed, going to messages. I took a deep breath and typed, sending it.

We need to talk..

As soon as I could catch my breath, I heard a noise from downstairs.

More like a scream.

"OH, MY GOD!!!!!" Mary yelled.

I threw my phone onto the bed and opened the door, running two at a time down the steps to find Lisa and Mary in the living room.

Lisa and Mary were huddled around the t.v. but Lisa scared me.

Her face was red, her eyes were glowing and she was hyperventilating.

Her breath came in and out sharply and laughter did as well.

I turned to Mary. "What the hell is wrong with her?"

She shrugged. "Isn't it obvious? Lisa won the contest."

Lisa laughed like a madwoman, repeating Mary's statement. "I won. I won. I can't believe I won."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Lisa. We know you-"
I stopped speaking because Lisa's breathing stopped, and that's when she passed out.