Pain is Only Temporary, Love is Forvever. (One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter 34 - Desire

Author's note: Hello readers! I know that this has been the most massive delay yet, but this time I truly promise not to commit to that again. Summer is here and I'm finally free to write! A lot has happened the past two months, and I hope the message in this chapter might explain my delay. Please read thoroughly through this chapter, I'd like to pass a very prominent message. Thank you for clicking on this story and enjoy!

After I hung up, I realized that this would be the first time he’d enter my apartment. I had to cook something special in these hours before he shows up. I thought my signature grilled chicken salad would be great, and my fantastic veggie lasagna. I did have a wine drawer in the kitchen, not that I drank, but for occasions like this one. Oh and Ayla of course.

The salad was set, I put the dressing aside though, so when Harry comes, I’d top it off without leaving the salad leaves to get moist. The lasagna was in the oven, it needed about half an hour, enough time to get dressed and ready for the evening. I was searching my wardrobe for something nice to wear. I was stuck on either a short velvet-textured dress or this light long sleeved evergreen short dress. I went for the evergreen dress, it seemed suitable for the evening, and it was straight across my collar bone but had a long v shape exposing my back. It was loose on the top and got tighter at the end. I decided to leave my hair in a high pony-tail, for my hair was straightened and I wanted to show off the nice cut of the dress. I decided to go with black pumps for the shoes and for accessories I just had my silver watch and worse my diamond earrings. They weren’t that lavish, just one small diamond on each ear. I decided to go with make-up. I did want to look good for this evening, especially since it’s the first time he’ll be visiting, so it was just a tad of mascara and lip balm. By the time I was done getting ready, the lasagna was five minutes away from being fully cooked. That’s when Harry texted, ‘I’m at the lobby, you don’t need to come down, what floor?’ The reason I wanted to go to the lobby was to tell him where to park his car so no paparazzi would follow him, but whatever, so I texted him ‘floor 10’ and made my final adjustments till he arrived. We didn’t have a dining table, just our counter, that’s where me and Ayla usually ate, sitting on our high chairs. But for today, I’d just place everything on the center table, the one right in front of our leather couch. I finally added the dressing to the salad and took the lasagna out of the oven; I placed them on the table with two sets of china. They were off white with a nice silvery design. The forks, knifes and spoons were silver as well. I added two glasses for both sets, I placed the wine and some fancy water on the table. As I was lighting the sweet scented candles, (romantic movies inspired me to do that) the door bell rang. A smile was automatically plastered across my face knowing that I still didn’t open the door. I straightened my dress and walked to the entrance.

His face was beaming with beauty. He literally never looked better. His teeth were glittering; I could tell he recently whitened them. I welcomed him inside gesturing him to come in, but once I closed the door he stopped half way, waiting for me. I walked up to him, wondering why he didn’t continue to the living room, he suddenly grabbed my hand and spun me around. I wasn’t expecting that, and I was laughing as he spun me, it felt good to be noticed. He then grabbed me from my waist and held me against the wall of the corridor, he kept bringing his face closer to mine but not exactly touching it, enough to speak and feel every breath on my skin. “I missed you,” he almost whispered, now that sounded sexy. “Two days huh?” I replied sarcastically but still keeping my tone low not to ruin the intense feeling. “That’s too long.” And then he placed his lips on mine, and I slowly was being turned on. He got so close to me, closer than ever, his chest was literally on mine and his legs were over mine. His hands were still wrapped around my waist bringing his own waist closer. Our bodies were technically glued to each other; the butterflies were at war in my stomach at this point. Even the sound of our breaths gave me chills. I didn’t know if I could keep up with this passion. Our tongues were inserted naturally, like we knew when to start, when to stop, it wasn’t something planned though, but it was just so damn good. His hands went up while mine went down. I felt his chest, down to his abs, but I didn’t go further down, I just didn’t think it was time. His hands traced my abdomen, but then turned to my back, since my dress was exposed at the back; his cold fingers were feeling my bare skin. He traced my spine up to my neck, and then moved his lips away from mine, going down. Down to my jaw, then lower to my neck. It was so intimate I couldn’t help but gasp, shivers were taking over, the good type of shivers at least. As he was kissing my neck, his hands went back down, I could feel his hands coming to my chest, he paused there not knowing whether he should continue, he was waiting for me to do something. And I wanted him to do something and that’s when I was aiming for his cock. Adrenaline got the best of me, and I think this was a matter of sheer physical desire. I slid my hands down his jeans, once he felt that his hands were momentarily placed on my breasts. Just moving them and feeling them, I was so turned on at that moment; my hands finally felt his cock. His body was so close to mine, I could feel his dick moving up and down on the lower part of my body. His lips were slowly going back up my neck, back to my mouth. Tongue started all over again. His hands left my breasts and went back to my back, while mine left his cock and went back up to his abs and chest. He took his tongue out and started kissing the side of my mouth, his hands found my waist again but this time travelled to my lower back and eventually my ass. That’s when I put my hands under his shirt, just enough to feel his packs and his chest. He went farther grabbing my legs from the sides and carrying me up. I wrapped my legs around him taking my hands away from his abs and going up to his neck, then to his gorgeous hair. He moved back so now his back was resting on the opposite wall. He was still carrying me from my legs, moving his hands up and down my leg. His lips left mine once again and began travelling down my neck. My chest wasn’t bare, so that put him at a disadvantage. I was beyond chills at this point, like my whole body was absolutely electrified. He was still sucking my neck when I bent my neck to face him. I was at a higher level than him since he was carrying me. He abruptly stopped, thinking something had gone wrong, although everything had been going great, I whispered to his ear, letting my lips touch his ears saying, “The food’s getting cold.” He giggled to that, and I followed that giggle. He slowly loosened his grip on my legs and set me down on my feet. I was still staring at him. He pecked my lips one last time to conclude the ardor. I straightened my back and led him to the couch where we were meant to sit. He sat next to me, our legs touching. “That was brilliant, wasn’t it?” he smiled proudly, “Haha, indeed it was.” I admitted. I’ve never been more turned on than now in my entire life. “I never mentioned how gorgeous you look” he stated sweetly. I smiled timidly; my cheeks were beginning to flush with pink, “Thank you” I replied moving my gaze, I didn’t want him to see me blushing, so I started filling his plate with some salad. “Is Elizabeth Litani finally accepting a compliment?” he said sarcastically, “Aha, it seems so, wine?” I gestured holding the bottle. “Yes please” he answered. Once I finished pouring some wine in his glass, I closed the bottle with its cork without filling my glass. “You don’t drink?” was Harry’s obvious inquiry. “No” I said lightly shaking my head to the side, “Why not?” he continued, “It’s a long story actually” I replied, wanting to change the subject. “Oh, is it about the whole incident or something?” he went on. “No, it’s not that, just, something else-” “Oh, I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable, you don’t have to tell me of course, it’s your choice-” “It’s not that Harry, it’s just that, it brings me bad memories, and I never really spoke to someone about it,” “You know you can trust me Elizabeth.” He said sternly, looking intently into my eyes. I never actually opened up to the whole story to why I don’t drink, to why I never have and never will. It disgusted me for very cogent reasons. I gave in at the end, there would be no harm done if I told harry the actual story. I handed him his plate because it seemed like we were never going to have dinner if I don’t demand him to eat. I filled my plate with some salad and started, “I was still fifteen at the time, and you know I was wild and living in New York, you know how it is. So this one time my friends and I got fake ID’s to get into this really hot club and all, that’s like the typical teenage objective, to try out alcohol and just break the rules and all, luckily it didn’t work out for us, we looked awfully young, so there was no way we would get into the club. We decided to go to a liquor store, to get us some vodka, but of course we had the slight dilemma of being under aged, so one of my girlfriends told the shopkeeper that if she gave him a blow job, he’d sell us vodka. She obviously did that and we got the alcohol. I personally wasn’t up for the whole rebelliousness, I didn’t even want to sneak out, and I was talked into it. Everyone kept drinking except for me; I wanted to be the one conscious if anything bad would happen, and besides I didn’t want to have my first drink this way. One of my friends, Keaton, he was sixteen and his parents bought him an SUV for his birthday. He was driving up front, I was sitting at the back, at the left hand side,” my voice was starting to crack; I paused for a second to retain the will to keep going. Harry placed his hand on my shoulder. I wasn’t facing him, just looking down at my legs. Then I looked into his eyes and continued, “Keaton was so drunk, and he was a first timer, so you can imagine how quickly the alcohol would work on him, he was oblivious to the color of the traffic light and zoomed past a red light, he was going so fast and that’s when a bus hit the car, it hit the car on the right side, just where Keaton was driving,” I paused again, my voice was going to break into a sob but I contained it. “He died instantly, and Harry, we were five people in total, three of us died, and my friend that lived, she became paralyzed from the left side of her body, and I barely broke a bone. I only had mild concussion and broke my left arm, there were some scars and bruises here and there but compared to the rest of us, nothing happened to me, nothing.” He hugged me, real tight. And I hugged him back, trying to hold my breath so I wouldn’t start crying. I didn’t want this night to be about grief, I didn’t want to mourn my friend and feel that stab of guilt every time I thought about him, well about all three of them. “It’s okay Lizzie, I’m just glad you made it through,” “Well yea I’m glad you are, everyone was wondering why I didn’t die, and their parents wish I had so that my parents would feel anguish towards their deceased daughter, it’s just, sometimes I wish something bad had happened so I wouldn’t feel all this guilt all the time, I mean it still haunts me till now,” I replied almost breathless towards the end. “Lizzie, you should never feel guilty, what happened in the past happened, there’s a reason to why you lived, well by now, I’d say you were on the verge of death more than once, and I wouldn’t call that luck to be honest, if you died I would have never met you, and I think meeting you has been the highlight of my year, it would be a loss if you didn’t exist, don’t feel guilty, feel blessed.” He finished. His words were so soothing it had my heart leaping with joy. I kissed his cheek, and he did the same action simultaneously with my cheek. We both smiled at each other, then there was that mysterious yet awe inspiring silence. Those moments, they were more like sparks, or maybe even explosions. Who knew that staring into someone else’s eyes would give you such a gratifying sense that would take you spinning, but that would make the world stop spinning? “Perhaps we should start eating?” Harry broke the silence. “Of course” I said giggling.

The chicken salad and lasagna were ‘exquisite’ and I quote. He even said that it was one of his best home-cooked meals, and that he was actually serious on that and not trying to praise me lavishly. I thanked him for his kind words, but I did have to give props to my mother Madeline, she’s the actual mastermind. We were deeply engrossed in conversation, we were so interested in one another, and there was always something to say. This whole dinner was basically filled with laughter, sitting facing one another and talking about god knows what. “I’d rather lick a hobo’s armpit than drown in a sea of mayonnaise!” Harry blasted, “Okay, fair enough, I’m just trying to understand what type of man you are, so expect questions like these.” I said flirtatiously, “Well then, expect me to ask you questions as well Elizabeth” he laughed, “I’ll be more than happy to answer them,” I continued smiling.

“Are you fucking with me Peet? The assignment is clearly about fucking humans, why the hell would Ms. Montgomery ask us to write a report about asexual reproduction in fungi, what are you planning on becoming a bacterium doctor? Fucking hell Peet, you need to be rational and you need to use your damn brain!” Ayla was yelling as she walked in placing her keys and coat on the hangers close to the door. She was still talking on the phone and yelling her lungs out when she realized Harry and I were sitting in the living room. She mouthed the word ‘hi’ and gave us both a kiss on the cheek whilst still giving poor Peet a hard time, “I told you what I know, take it or leave it” then she just took off to her room and shut the door behind her.

“Sorry about that” I said quite embarrassed, I mean this is Ayla, there’s no changing her. “Aha, don’t worry about it, she’s great” he replied sweetly. “So listen Harry, I just got news today that my parents are coming to London in a couple of days, and I’d like to invite you to my house for a traditional Lebanese styled lunch?” I asked timidly, “Well, I’m going to have to think about it, you see I have a really busy schedule and, well it’s going to be rather complicated,” he answered back. I actually was disappointed; I thought I was ‘his time’. “Oh god, you actually bought that, I’m kidding! I wouldn’t miss Lebanese food for the world!” he laughed, “Oh, that’s good, I actually did buy it, oh you’re good” “The best of the best” he boasted, “Okay, don’t flatter yourself” he gave me a shocked expression then got closer and kissed me yet again.

It was like you enter this whole other world. I mean, you might think I’m exaggerating, I have kissed several boys in my past, but none made me feel like what Harry made me feel. It wasn’t something I dreamed of or longed for, because I never knew such a feeling existed. I think they call that specific feeling something, maybe a word that’s starts with the letter ‘l’ and ends with a ‘ove’.

Desire though, that was another aspect. The urge to feel came impetuously. Uncontrollable is the precise word to use when it came to touching. Adrenaline conquers your body, and your mind would be locked in a cage. The only feeling that would seep through that cage was that of wanting more. I think that was the desire part. No matter how much I wanted in my lifetime, it never came to this extent. I was cautious throughout my life, I managed to stay pure, but now I was afraid of losing myself.

Author's note: I hate to say that the story about my friend Keaton is true. I even kept the names the same. A month ago, I actually did experience this horrific accident, and Keaton did actually pass away. I did indeed break my arm, but it was far worse than I described it in the story. I don't think that words could describe how I felt that day, but it truly was one of the worst days of my life. What I'm trying to pass on here is the aspect of drunk driving. More than 50% of deaths are cause by this in the west and in Europe, and my estimation isn't precise, the percentage is probably more. What I'm trying to say is, there really is no need to be rebellious if it would cost you your life, value your life more, and don't make rebelliousness or 'fun' your only objective. Be ambitious, and want to LIVE. Don't let stupid mistakes or thoughts get the best of you, trust me when I say life is beautiful. You don't want to end up like Keaton. I'm just lucky to be alive and I thank god every day for it, learn from my experience. Thank you for having the time to read this.

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