FINDING YOUR HEARTS DESIRE Book Two

Bella starts to open up to Edward

     Bpov

Edward just sat there looking into to my eyes not saying a word.

I pushed myself back as far as I could burying my head into my arms crying.

God I can't do this. It hurts to much. Hurting him to be without him. Why did I open myself up this much.

Because of it my magic doesn't work.
"Wait what! Your magic not working?" I lifted my head and shook it."Today was the first day I could use it and I screwed that up. Now there's nothing." I told him with the tears still falling.

He grabbed my hand and took into his. "That's why if I lost you I have nothing now and feeling the pain was all I had left. I knew everything was real and that when and if I died I had that memory of loving you and the pain of losing you too. At least this way I knew what I fought for to get this wound was to protect you because I knew then I loved you I just wasn't ready to tell you. It killed me inside to see her kiss you like that. Even then my heart felt like it was being torn to pieces." I told him.

"I didn't know Bella." I covered his mouth with my hand. "Let me finish please." I slowly took my hand away.

"The same nightmares every single one of you falling to your knees in pain and then dying. But what hurt me the most is knowing that it was my fault because I couldn't open my heart fully and I closed it off again. No one knew not even you. This is the hurt I was afraid of Edward. It's the worse pain I could ever feel." I explained to him.

I closed my eyes and buried my head again. "To never know your full love, to never feel your arms around me or to feel the feeling with you touch me like you do. Scares me and I would rather have nobody touch me at all just to remember that one single touch. It may not been a big deal to you but it did to me. Because it didn't scare you away and in that one moment I thought well you knew what I was thinking. But then it was gone from me in an instant. Not once, not twice, but three times now. And twice I watched you die in front of me and both time I couldn't save you. I tried so hard the second time that it almost killed me to."

I just sat there quite still with my head buried and crying.

I felt my head being lifted and Edward finally pulled me into his arms.

I closed my eyes again and leaned into his chest. He lifted my chin and I felt his lips on mine.

He traced my bottom lip with his tongue to ask for premise inside my mouth. Which I gave him and he did the same for me.

He pulled away and leaned against my forehead. I opened my eyes.

"I didn't know you felt that way Bella." I didn't say a word. "Until you get your powers we stay here no if ands or buts. I'm sending Seth home and Christa for a break.
I will send word for Christa to return but they need Seth at home. Athena and Craigo can protect us just find.
They told me this place is just like our special place and what you did with it and no one can get in unless they say so."

I agreed. Edward helped me wash my hair then he got out so I could have some personal time as he put it. Yeah just didn't want to watch me shave. I just shook my head.

When I knew he couldn't hear my thoughts that's when I went oh my god.

Edward is so damn sexy! I slap myself in the head because of the thoughts going through my head.

After I got done shaving. I still couldn't get the thoughts out of my head.

I kept hitting my forehead telling myself to stop because if Edward walked in here.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. But I can't help it. What do they say. No don't even think. Turn on!

Oh no I thought of it shit. I looked around at the of tent to make sure he wasn't there.