Reason to be - Harry Styles ✓

47. Day 3

Message number 1

‘Hey, April, I know that you don’t really want to hear from me, but we should talk. Call me as soon as you—‘

Message number 5

‘Can you please answer my calls, just once? April, I’m leaving—‘

Message number 12

‘I’m on the point of getting into a plane that will take me to Seattle. If you don’t pick up the phone, I swear I’ll—

Message number 17

“So, I guess that’s it. I’m almost there and I already miss London. I miss you. Could you please stop ignoring me? You should—“

Message number –

As soon as I got in front of the hotel room, my hand instinctively pressed the button to stop listening to the countless messages I had received on my voicemail while my phone was out last night. Of course, there were hundreds from the boys, but there were less along the lines of ‘Where the hell are you?’ and more ‘I hope you’re fine’ , ‘Everything will be alright’, ‘Return to the hotel soon’,  so I could only imagine that before these, Harry told them why he had returned without me. 

But there were also several, shy messages that were left by a person who wasn’t worried for me or for what had happened last night, but someone whose voice I missed. I didn’t have the courage to get to the end of any of them, but it was enough for me to understand something clearly; Liz was gone. Although she would come back after she registered for her university, the fact that she now was on a completely different continent made me aware of the fact that I was losing her. And as listening to her robotic voice on my phone made me smile, I realised that I really missed her.

But let’s get back to the fact that I was currently way too scared to just press that doorknob and enter that flat like nothing had happened; because, honestly everything, from my last evening’s dress to my disheveled hair, all full of sand, was begging to differ.

I was on the verge of convincing myself that I was brave enough to enter that room, when suddenly the door flung open in front of me and someone blocked the entrance. My lips trembled when my eyes met the pale green irises looking at me with confusion, shock, hurt, then numbness and nonchalance.

“Har—“ I began saying his name on a strangled voice, and it felt like my heart shattered in pieces when he abruptly shifted by me, without even looking back.

“Excuse me.” he briefly muttered, before disappearing in the closest lift. I felt as if I started to feel very cold out of nowhere and my body started to shake.

Slowly and unsure of myself, I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, dragging my bare, tired feet on the floor. I found the boys in the dining room, with the TV turned on although they were doing anything but paying attention to it, like reading a magazine, strumming the guitar or simply daydreaming. Liam was the first one who noticed my silent presence, as he let out an exclamation of astonishment. And soon, all of them stood up and watched me carefully, as if they were expecting me to explode in any minute. I did.

“He… he’s gone.” I whispered, as my breath shortened.

It felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore; I was gasping for air. And then my desperate attempts of getting air into my lungs were followed by tears that started to flow freely, almost at the same time with a pair of arms that caught me and let me bury my head into his chest. The other guys, Zayn, Louis and Liam, also came by and either put their hands on my shoulders or murmured reassuring words to me, and I was glad that they really were there for me. But it didn’t matter so much at that time.