Protecting What's Mine(Complete)

Chapter TwentyFour - A Hair Cut & Temporary Goodbye's

Chapter TwentyFour - A Hair Cut & Temporary Goodbye's
•Sang•

I sit on my hospital bed reading a book that Kota gave me to read, the only thing is I'm looking at the pages but I'm not reading the words. It's been two and a half weeks since I woke up and told the boys that I need help. Sean helped organise everything; I had a therapist Come and speak with me and she listened to what has happened over the last six years. She held my hand and even cried with me.

She then diagnosed me with Depression, Self Hatred Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and got me a space at a Residential Rehab here in Charleston where I'll spend the next three months of my life. I won't be locked in my room, but I won't be allowed out the building and I'm okay with that. I'll be able to have visitors on the weekends which made myself and the boys more relaxed about everything. 

My brothers supported my decision. They also told me that they was getting their own help but not as extreme as me. They said they have the time to work through their problems where as I don't; I'm feeling the need to go home and be with my family more and more.

Kayli and her guys always said they supported my decision, as did Erica and Uncle when they visited for the first time last week. Uncle wasn't pleased that I didn't go to anyone for help when my Father came to see me six years ago but he understood that I also felt like I had no choice.

The boys also started getting back to their routine. The girls were back home with them and sleeping in their owns bed. During school hours the boys were with me but as soon as it was home time I sent them all away. As soon as the twins were in bed though, two of them would come back and spend the night with me.

Today, I get discharged. I'm still in pain, but I've stopped taking the pain medicine and did so two days after waking up. I couldn't risk being addicted to anything else. I slept to keep my headaches at bay and learned to breath through the pain in my chest and belly.

Dr Roberts said that I'll have more scars and I'm okay with that. I don't hate myself because of the scars, which the Therapist had assumed. I hate myself for the things I've done; I never fought against Jason when he has his evil way with me and abused me in many ways. I hate myself for not speaking with the boys when my Father came to me six years ago and I just simply hate myself for not finding a way out of the mess I was in.

I just hope that in three months I can get better and find who I should be in this world. I'll be going straight to the Residential Rehab as soon as I leave here and the boys won't be taking me. I won't let them. I'll say my temporary goodbyes at the door of this hospital and let Adam take me to where I need to go.

"I know your not reading that book Baby, so you can stop pretending."

I move my eyes from the pages and look to the corner of the room where North sits on the sofa. He's playing on his phone and has left me with my thoughts for a good hour now. No point saying I was lost in the book cause he clearly saw through me. He raises his dark eyebrow and smirks at me. With a grunt a slam the book close and move it from my lap. "Yeah, whatever."

He stands up and pockets his phone as he strolls over to me. Sitting side ways on the bed he picks up my hands and holds them in his. "You don't have to do this, you know that right?"

"I do have to do this." I whisper. "If not for everyone else then for myself. If I don't find help now then I'll only be worse in the future; the therapist said so herself."

He sighs. "I know. It's just, we've only just got you back and now your leaving again."

"I'll be back." I smile at him. "It's only two days until the weekend anyway and then yourself and Nathan will be coming to see me." After a few arguments, Owen sorted a order in which the boys will come and visit. I'm only allowed to visitors at a time either on a Saturday or Sunday but I can't have both days. It sucks but everywhere have rules they need to follow.