bts scenarios

BTS on a Boat

jin: ok remember, we’re going to stay ON the boat this time. i’m looking at you vmin.

jimin: BUT I WANNA– wait did you just call us by our ship name?

jin: um well i– V HOW ARE YOU IN THE WATER ALREADY??? GET BACK ON THIS BOAT OR I’M TELLING YOUR FATHER

v: MOM I FOUND A TURTLE *holds up traumatized land turtle*
jin: OH MY GOD… NAMJOON DO SOMETHING

namjoon: *sitting in captains chair, making loud motor boat noises as he drives in circles*

jungkook: *sitting on namjoon’s lap eating cookies* WEEEEEEE

yoongi: i fucking hate all of you *lays down on the deck to take a nap*

jhope: *creeps up to yoongi*

yoongi: *doesn’t open his eyes* hoseok i swear to god i will strangle you with your own intestines if you don’t get the hell away from me

jhope: *lays down right next to yoongi*

yoongi: what did i just say

jhope: *strokes yoongi’s nose*

yoongi: WHAT ARE YOU–

jhope: *puts a finger to his lips* SHHH BB LET IT HAPPEN

namjoon: *swerving the boat* ARGG

jin: *sighs* this isn’t a fucking pirate ship

jimin: ugh mom tell dad to stop swerving so much, it’s making me… SICK *insert dope choreography*

yoongi: *trying to keep hoseok’s hands away from his face* isn’t it translated as dope though?

jimin: nah we translated it both ways bc it was funny watching the international ARMYs all confused and stuff

v: *back on boat* MOM I LOST THE TURTLE *cries*

jin: IN THE WATER???

v: YEAH

jin: V THAT WAS A LAND TURTLE YOU LITERALLY JUST KILLED IT

jimin: it’s ok bro, it wasn’t your fault

v: *wipes eyes* bro

vmin: *hugs*

jin: what– no, it was absolutely your fault v… you dropped it in the water

jimin: *death glare*

jin: … *backs away to namjoon aka “safety”*

jungkook: mom i wanna go home, i hate my brothers 

yoongi: ME TOO KOOKIE ME TOO

jhope: *trying to kiss yoongi’s nose* LEMME SMOOCH YOU

namjoon: *crashes boat into random island and screams* LAND HOOOOOO

v: VACATION

jimin: *rips off shirt to go frolick on the beach*

jhope: *carries yoongi off the boat bridal style*

yoongi: *grits his teeth* put. me. down.

namjoon: this island is…

jin: deserted, probably dangerous, off the map?

namjoon: *tears up* a masterpiece. damn i’m good at finding the best family vacation spots

jungkook: *steps off boat*

jimin: *immediately clings to his leg*

jungkook: *sighs and keeps walking, dragging Jimin through the sand*

jin: What are we going to eat??? How are we going to live?? Does anyone know how to make a fire??? Namjoon, what are we going to–

jhope: NOBODY PANIC

yoongi: Oh no…

jhope: I WILL BE YOUR–

jimin: NO, STOP, DONT SAY IT *still clinging to jungkook*

jhope: *whispers* I am your hope

jimin: *groans*

namjoon: Oh hey where’s V

jin: oh so NOW you notice when your son is missing

v: *up in a coconut tree* IM A MONKEY

jungkook: yo hyung, throw me a coconut 

v: why

jungkook: *eyes jimin’s head threateningly* just… cuz?

v: Kay! *throws jungkook a coconut*

jungkook: *aims it down at jimin’s head*

jin: *snatches the coconut away* PLS DONT KILL YOUR BROTHER RN I AM VERY STRESSED AS IT IS

namjoon: *meanwhile has already identified every species of bug, animal, plant, dirt etc on the island*

yoongi: …get me out

-later-

jimin: *sits next to jungkook by the fire* 

jungkook: *scoots away*

jimin: *scoots closer*

jungkook: *scoots away*

jimin: *wraps his arms and legs around kookie to keep him from escaping*

jungkook: MOM HELP

jimin: mom said that I could sleep in your tent tonight *pets kookie’s hair*

jungkook: …i’m swimming home goodbye

v: look i caught a fish! 

jin: I’m afraid to look….

namjoon: A fish? What kind of fi– WAIT WHERE DID YOU–

jin: THAT IS A CHILD, WHERE DID U FIND A CHILD ON THIS ISLAND

jhope: Listen, Taehyung can find children literally anywhere. It’s his super power.

namjoon: Oh yeah? And what’s yours?

jhope: *climbs up on a rock and begins to shout* MY SUPER POWER IS BEING YOUR–

yoongi: SO ANYWAY, i’m going to bed, goodnight.

v: Come on, fishy. We can sleep in uncle Yoongi’s tent.

yoongi: THE HELL U CAN

jungkook: HEY I HAVE AN IDEA. you can sleep in jimin’s tent and i will sleep outside where i have a better chance of survival. 

jimin: but

jungkook: GREAT ITS SETTLED GOODNIGHT

namjoon: Don’t forget, everyone. I’m making breakfast tomorrow!!

jin: …Save us all…

-:-:-:-:-

cr. whatwae

shout out to @sinfullybangtan! she found this and it cracks me up hahaha just want to share this to all of you