THE CHAPPIE AWARDS - REVIEWS

The Paper Stars. Chapter - 14.

Genre:

Romance Historical fiction.

Short Summary of the Story:

 Sara, a 15 year old German girl lives an ordinary life, lazing around with her best friend and neighbour, Saul, and dreams of being an extra-ordinary actress. In the summer of 1944, her family takes in Benjamin, a Jew, who is the son of her mother's friend, and she forms a bond with him. But when danger rears it's ugly head, they must find a way to survive and keep up hope.

Short Summary of the Chapter:

  This chapter describes the first acquaintance between Sara and Saul after she shifts to his neighbourhood at five and a half years of age. It then transitions into the then present, with Sara and Benjamin sky gazing and talking about their thoughts about each other and Benjamin's revelation of a traumatizing incident in his childhood.

Review:

  This is easily one of the best chapters I have reviewed. The author has a serious talent of weaving magic with words and drew me in right from the first typed words. I liked the way she described the chapter in a short verse at the beginning. In the first part, the emotions portrayed as children are of a theatrical quality. The incident flows beautifully where the scene actually resembles a completely natural meeting between children. It is not overdone, just written to perfection.

  The second part is equally balanced with dialogues and detailing. I especially liked the writer's interpretation of "What's in a name". However, the words:  A small explanation:  could be avoided. This description is a part of Sara's thoughts . So mentioning that is inappropriate. It does not fit as a part of Sara'ss thoughts (only those words as a heading).  I particularly applaud the description of the sky through Benjamin's eyes. But the winner was the way she described Benjamin's brother as a person, his adorable actions, his goodness and his absolutely heart-wrenching death. The emotions were well played out. I completely related to the characters. The writing is mature, moves effortlessly between episodes in the protagonist's life, is thought provoking and perfectly highlights the period in which the story has been set.

  The chapter is 6 pages of pure pleasure. It couldn't have ended more gracefully with a lingering beauty. 

Suggestions to the writer:

   Your chapter is one of the few ones I think are almost perfect. Though I noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes...which seem more like typos:

Chucked not chuckled a mud pie.

Shut up not Shuttup.

Depends on what it is (not us)

Wished with all his heart to kiss that black-haired nightgown. (what is a black haired nightgown?)

I suggest you to change the fourth before last line to 'He wondered how she would have....'  You don't have to mention  'He didn't, though I'm sure he wished had' again, as that is already clear from the previous line.

Final Verdict:

**** out of *****.

Simply outstanding! (in spite of very few typos). Highly recommended.