From my heart to yours (Editing in progress)

Next move.

Drake’s p.o.v. cont…

I looked at her, I wanted to tell her everything, but not like this. This was not how I wanted things to go.

“Emily..i- I just..”

“Drake…tell me please.” She said it so helplessly and in such a low tone, she looked so sad.

“I actually…” I closed my eyes and inhaled and exhaled heavily a few times trying to calm my nerves, I felt knots all over my body, the memories flooding me once again, my mother’s helpless face and my father falling down after the bullet pierced his head…a hole exactly in the middle of his forehead and blood streaming down, my mother going numb while that bastard placed his dirty hands all over her…

I was sweating and panting with disgust now clear on my face as I looked into her eyes that were waiting for e to say something. He placed her soft hands on my rough cheeks and tried to calm me down.  She hummed the cute song that she always sung to me, well actually hummed to me all the time. She asked me to go along with her in her room.

“Take this”

She gave me a small notepad and a pencil.

“Draw what comes in your mind… I mean… close your eyes and whatever first thing you see…draw..”

I do as she says, I close my eyes and the first thing that I see in front of my eyes is my mother crying.i start drawing her. When I’m done I look at her. She studies the picture and then with a gasp turns to look at me. She then pulls me in a hug and then places my head in her lap. She then looks at me for long. I didn’t really understand what she was trying to convey.

“Drake, your mother has been troubled, so have you been. Her eyes are tired and she’s crying which means that she was having a bad time and you had to see that. You became a rebel because you couldn’t help her in her bad time, her eyes show a small glint, like she expects you to keep some kind of a promise, you have portrait it so well”

I looked at her with wide eyes. How could she possibly do that!

“you love your mother a lot, but now you are not able to face her, because at the right time you were not there for her and so you try and maintain distance with her.”

“Stop….” I say. I know all of that, it was amazing how she could say all that through just a portrait but the guilt was rising in me as she said all of that.

I lifted myself from her and closed my eyes, then I rubbed my hands over my face, I looked away from her and then back into her eyes. I licked my lower lip because I was hesitant to tell her. I trust her but I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust my strength anymore…will be able to keep the tears from fallig? I do not want to look like a cry baby to her. I was conflicting by myself when ifelt the tears building up. I blinked a few times and looked away once more.

“Never bottle up emotions…that’s what you said”

I looked at her.

“Drake, you need to speak up, you are still in pain…I cannot see you that way!”

I looked at her.

“You may smile and hide away your pain, but I can always feel and see it in your eyes.”

Those were the exact feelings in me for her too. I realized that if she was an open book to me, I had to be too. I looked into her eyes and gave her a nod, a confident one this time. She gave me a weak smile and started humming that song in my ears. It made my tense muscles relax as she brushed her hands over my forehead and cheeks. She then pulled me in a hug and hummed the last part of the song, I really don’t know what that song is, but she hums it all the time.