I really don't like waiting. Actually, I just hate it. There was one good thing about the time I was waiting. The doctors came to say I was strong enough to go home again and I could go tomorrow. I was really happy about that, because I didn't like any single thing about the hospital. I know I should be thankful, because without the hospital I could've lost too much blood and I don't know what would've happened than. I actually don't even want to know. Melody came for a while, telling me it was still busy but things were going great. She had to leave fast, because she had to work in the evening. I was happy to see her and tell her what exactly had happened. The rest of the time I was alone, my parents were working and Liz & Jen had already came every day so I told them I was okay and they could just stay home. I made a short walk through my floor in the hospital but it bored me quickly. Back in my room I saw Soraya texted me back. She sent me this:
"Omg I never expected this! I'm so happy you read it! Thankyou so much for replying! I can't believe it U deserve all the love and happiness and I really hope you're having great times with Zac. Okay, I will leave you now. Hope I can meet you some day! Xx Soraya"
It was so weird to me that I was so special to some people now. I didn't feel like that, but the way she thanks me and is surprised that I even reacted at all makes me realize it a bit more. I quickly replied
"No problem at all. Much love Xx Emily"
At the next moment I got texted by Zac.
"Hey, I'm taking a taxi to the hospital now. Be there soon, love you"
"Woah, did they give you a private plane? That's really fast baby, I'm waiting. Love you more"
I had mixed feelings. I was so excited to see him again, but I knew what was coming. That we would have to talk about this and make a hard decision. I tried to make myself less nervous by listening to calm music. Ed Sheeran always makes me feel calmer when I'm in stress and also this time, I didn't think a lot about what was happening at the moment. I just listened to the lyrics and imagined everything he sang in my head. I had my eyes closed while doing this and didn't hear anything around me. Suddenly someone kissed my head. I opened my eyes quickly and screamed.
"ZAAAAACC!" I opened my arms and he dropped his bag and came closer to hug me. He had to hang over me, because I was lying on the bed. I hugged him harder and harder and heard him laughing. Then I let him go and kissed his cheek. He kissed my forehead.
"I missed you so!"
"Me too"
I saw that he wasn't feeling comfortable as always. He was looking at my belly with worried eyes. I also looked at my belly now.
"Is it real?" He asked with a soft voice.
"Yeah, it's real" I answered, talking soft too. His hand went to my belly and he put it gently on it. I put my hand on his and wondered what he was thinking.
"Tell me what exactly happened" He looked me in my eyes now.
"Okay" I replied. I started
telling about that moment when I felt really bad and called Jenna, and about the next moment waking up in this bed, hearing that I was pregnant. He sat down on the bed and didn't take his hand off.
"I'm so sorry you had to call Jenna, I had to be there"
"Don't be sorry, please. I don't want you to feel sorry about that. There was nothing you could do about it"
He kept quiet and stared at my belly again.
"But how did it happen? How could it have happened?"
"I don't know..."
"What are we gonna do?" He looked me in my eyes again.
"I don't know, can we discuss this later please?"
"Why later?"
"Just, you know. When we're home again. I can go home tomorrow. Maybe tonight if I ask them"
"Uhm, sure. If you really want that" He said surprised. I know it was something important we had to discuss, but I just wasn't ready now. Tomorrow would be better. He laid down next to me, but looked the other way. I wrapped my arm around him and smelled at him. He turned around to see my face.
"I'm so sorry I did this to you" He whispered.
"No" The only thing I said.
"You're so strong, I'm so proud of you."
I smiled. He gave me a quick kiss on my lips.
"We've canceled the filming"
"I'm sorry about causing troubles for that"
"You didn't. We will just continue later, it's no problem."
"Okay"
He did my hair behind my ear. Suddenly I felt it all coming. I tried to keep it in, but I couldn't. I broke. I started to cry and Zac laid my head on his shoulder, holding the back of my head with his hand. His face was in my neck and I could feel him breathing. It made me feel safe and peaceful.
"I'm here now." He whispered in my ear. He let all my emotions rise and it felt good. I didn't have to stay strong at this moment, I could just let it all go out of my body and soul. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to say anything. He was the only one I dared to let it all go with. It was refreshing and I felt how tired I was. I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.
