Chapter 23

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I tap my fingers on my thigh. 

“So you haven't gotten your period this whole month?” Alida shakes her head. “And you forgot to use a condom once?” Alida nods. 

“I'm scared...” Alida cries out. 

I pull my keys out and grab Alida's hand. “I know A, I know.” I whisper. “But come on, lets go buy the whole pregnancy test storage.” Alida chuckles and follows me in the closest pharmacy. We walk down the condom isle and finally stop at the pregnancy tests. “I used these...” I tell her as I pick up a box of three tests. 

“Just grab any.” I nod and start picking up any good ones. After grabbing about 20 boxes we walk to the ring out. The lady stares at us with awkward looks probably because a) a pregnant lady is buying pregnancy tests b) Alida literally looks like she just got out of war and c) its 1 in the morning... In a way I would be judging too. 

“Total comes out to $55.34,î the lady says. I nod and go through my pocket for cash. I put down 35 and Alida does the rest. We grab the three bags and walk out back to my car. 

“We just bought 50 dollars of pregnancy tests...” I whisper as I pull out of the pharmacy, Alida laughs while wiping her tears. 

“A little ridiculous.” I nod and we just sit in the car, in silence. 

I knew how Alida was feeling and it scared me. I knew she was feeling numb and lost. Finding out if you're pregnant or not is the scariest shit ever. I just feel bad for Alida because I know she has this perfect life coming for her and she doesn't need to get pregnant now. I'm not saying my life wasn't perfect but Alida has a model career for her, she has interviews in a couple weeks, and Alida's parents wouldn't be so understanding. Her parents were literally the definition of strict. 

At this point I could literally feel Alida's pain if she does end up pregnant. 

“Just grab any random ones and during the time of waiting for it to beep, drink water, alright?” I tell Alida and she nods, grabs a random pregnancy box, and walks into my bathroom like a zombie. I sigh. 

After Sunday we went back to Colt's place for a little while and then I left to visit Nathan. We talked for a while and just relaxed. I told him Colt met mom, he was shocked to say the least. I told him how Colt made it seem like she was here with us and made no flaw about it. Nathan was proud of me that I met someone so special and that I was happy. He was mostly happy that I was happy because I haven't been happy in awhile, and I was happy. 

From my mom committing suicide from depression after my parents divorce to Nathan repeating Mom's suicide but failing... I wasn't in a good place. I had a lot of suicide thoughts and it wasn't healthy and I knew it. Then, I end up pregnant. For once in a long time everything was going my way. Colt made me happy, Alida made me happy, Owen made me happy, and my princess made me happy. 

Every time I feel lonely now all I do is look down at my stomach and everything brightens up. I was excited for my little princess to come into this world. I just can't wait. A couple more months, a couple more months. 

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