This Love is Ours

Chapter 6: Gravitational Beauty

{Jonathan}

I grab the empty plastic Gatorade bottle sitting on the dinner table, and throw it in the garbage.

I'm trying to clean up my place as much as possible before Natalie gets here.

It's Thursday, June 30, at about 5:50 in the evening.

I invited Natalie over for a casual dinner tonight at my place.

To be honest, it's super casual because I ordered in pizza.

Not from some crappy corner place, but from a really high-end Italian pizza restaurant, but still...

Pizza is pizza.

Natalie said she was totally fine with it, so I guess it doesn't matter.

She's never actually been in my apartment before, so I'm trying to make it seem as organized and clean as possible.

She's coming over in about ten minutes, and I'm quickly tidying up the place.

I lean against the counter and scan the apartment quickly.

Looks good.

The new place I live in is located at The Regatta Chicago.

It's right on the Chicago River, and it has gorgeous views.

It's down the street from Trump Tower, and I can clearly see it from my balcony.

I'm on the thirty-sixth floor, so not nearly as high up as the apartment at Trump, but it's still gorgeous.

This building only goes up to floor thirty-seven anyways.

It's a fairly large place, with floor-to-ceiling windows that run through the entire apartment, a luxurious kitchen, two bedrooms, two and a half baths, and of course a balcony.

The whole place is tiled and I really like it here.

Moving out from Trump Tower was really tough.

Despite the fact that I'm constantly back at that apartment to see Kaner, I still miss him, and I miss that place.

I miss my roommate.

But, times have changed.

There is no way I would be able to still live there.

I tried for a couple months after the accident, but my memories haunted me.

Those memories never let me go, and I just couldn't stay there.

I couldn't sleep in the same bed that Ally and I used to make love on.

I just couldn't.

So, here I am, moved out, and two years later.

Times have changed, but in many ways they are all still the same.

Ally remains a huge part of my life.

I'm never going to love anyone the way that I loved her, and I fully understand that.

The emotional pain I endured for the first few weeks after it happened, has never faded.

It never goes away.

It's always there, deep down inside of me.

But, I've learnt to deal with it, and learnt to be strong, despite all of the pain.

The pain gets to me sometimes.

Sometimes my nightmares get the worst of me, and I can't help but break down.