The New Romantics

Chapter Twenty One: You Belong With Me

Today was going to be a good day. It didn't have a choice.

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It was, for the most part, a good day. Alex stayed in his room, so I pretty much my the flat to myself. I didn't do much, but knowing I could was fun.

Around nine at night, I headed over to Benjamin's. Yeah, I know it was late, but I wanted to make sure he wasn't busy. Plus I wasn't going to be very long.

Martha was the one who opened the door, which was a bit of a surprise. It was also really awkward, since I hadn't seen her since Benjamin and I broke up. But I could fix that awkwardness later. I was here to talk to Benjamin, not Martha.

"Hey, Liz! What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, I came to talk to Benjamin."

Martha's usual smile fell from her face. I was instantly concerned. "Oh. Well...uhm...He-he's not here at the moment." Normally I would have been fine with that statement; would have walked away and said I would talk to him tomorrow. But the concern in her voice and the darkness of the night made me ask where he was. "He left for a party about 20 minutes ago."

I almost laughed. Benjamin? At a party? She must have been giving me a cover story. He was probably in his room, eating ice cream or watching Netflix. Or both.. "Really, Martha, where is he? I just need to talk to him for like, five minutes."

Martha shook her head. "Liz, I'm not kidding. He's been going to parties ever since you broke up with him. Claims it helps get you off his mind for a night."

"Benjamin wouldn't survive a  night at a party without drinking. He has to be somewhere else." I couldn't fathom Benjamin at a party. It was against everything we every agreed on, everything he believed. The drinking, the sex, the staying out late. It just wasn't Benjamin. I refused to accept it.

But the look Martha gave me made me second guess my refusal. I thanked her and walked to my car, deciding I was going to go find Benjamin and get his stupid face out of his stupid mess. I don't know what gave me the idea, but I had it, and I was going to do it.

Walking into the house was really weird. My plan was to simply find Benjamin, not "have a little fun." The whole feeling of the place made me sick and angry, unusually. Maybe because I knew Benjamin was here- somewhere I never thought he would be in a million years. 

The guys at parties were the worst of all. They thought they could pick up any girl they wanted, just because she was drunk, or they themselves were drunk. Or both. It was absolutely disgusting. Of course, I didn't think that when I came on my o-

He really is here. I didn't expect him to be here. But he is. He's definitely drunk, he's all over another girl and he's most likely thinking things.  I don't know why I came here if I didn't expect him to be here and doing stuff like this, but I did come. And he is here. I really wish neither of us were. I wish we were at his place, cuddled up on the couch, watching a Disney movie.

Oh would you look at that. He's walked away from the girl to get a drink, and I have to turn around because I was not socially, emotionally, or mentally prepared to see him here. I turned to face a guy who introduced himself as Michael Young, and almost on instinct slapped him. I was just so irritated right now, anyone who talked to me was asking to get hurt. I held up a casual conversation, occasionally looking behind me to see if Benjamin was still with the girl. 

Michael walked away to get me a drink- after I had said I was fine- and I became a wallflower. I never was one at parties, but refusing to talk to people kind of makes you one. 

I continued to watch Benjamin and the girl (I think I heard him call her Bree) and I was filled with many different emotions. I was happy he moved on, but I hated that I was the cause of him having to. I'm so incredibly sad that he's with this other girl except me, and angry that I let it happen. 

Bree led Benjamin down a hallway after whispering something to him, and I knew exactly what they were doing. They were going to find an empty room, do a little "passionate necking," and end with waking up in each other's arms. The whole idea of it made me sick to my stomach. They were about to do stuff Benjamin and I had sworn off until later, all because of his standards. Nonetheless, I followed them. I wasn't going to sit in the room and interrupt their fun- that would just be rude. And a whole new level of weird. I would simply wait outside the door until one of them- preferably Benjamin- walked out. 

This, of course, wasn't my best plan, but it would have to do.