The New Romantics

Chapter Eight: The Story of Us

Benjamin and Alex were completely silent, even when it was evident I was done. I kept my eyes on my hands, occasionally looking at my brother and boyfriend nearby. Branden was behind me, so I couldn't really glare at him, but I noticed Alex and Benjamin did plenty of it while I was speaking. I took this extraordinarily long, eerie silence to think about the guys in front of me.

Alexander James Luxbury, the slightly drunk boy sitting on the floor, was my adopted brother. He was five years older than me, and six inches taller. Even though he should probably be the one taking care of me, I was always taking care of him. If he wasn't my brother, I'd probably be drooling over him, not gonna lie. He was pretty good looking.

More often than not, he was angry with me, or I was angry with him. Seriously, we don't get a whole lot of peace in this house. Despite this constant sibling rivalry, there are moments- like this one- where it seems like he cares about me. Like he'd do pretty much anything for me.

Benjamin Chris Pond, the one sitting in a chair he silently pulled over a while ago, was a full foot taller than me. I noticed his height now as he sat in a chair that normally fit me perfectly- it looked like a seat for a kindergartener. He was quite good looking also, and not just because he was my boyfriend.

He has been the cause of a few of my tears- like one night when he met me on the sidewalk as I was walking home from a party. (You would think I had learned my lesson.) I was such a brat that night, and I'm really surprised he stayed with me after that. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he did, but... I don't know if I would have done the same if it was the other way around. I know that's really terrible, but unfortunately it's true.

I noticed now, while thinking back on that night, that he loves me a whole lot more than I love him. I love him a ton, but not that much. Maybe I will one day- love him as much as he loves me. I hope I do. But- even after a year- I can't get over Branden, or the hole he left. He kept a part of me when he kicked me out- gave me a smaller glass- and now I can't hold as much love as I use to- if that even makes sense.

My brother has hurt me in some of the same ways Branden has. Not by doing the same thing, but it's left the same effect. A lot of the love that fills my cup- like, 75% of it- belongs to Alex, and I don't think he realizes it. Maybe he does and he's just being Alex- oblivious and arrogant and always wanting more. But, he's said some things- like how he thinks because I love Benjamin, I love him less- that makes me think he doesn't know. I've tried explaining to him that he's wrong, but he doesn't exactly enjoy listening to his little sister.