Ultraviolence - Cash (Boyxboy)

Burning Desire

I ran into the school sprinting to my classroom, my mom had decided not to drive me to school so I had to walk. I was so tired, I could barely sleep thinking about how my first real day of school would turn out. As I turned into the open classroom door 15 minutes late, I felt the eyes of 2 dozen students staring into my soul. The room got as quiet as quiet could possibly go. I knew they were judging me in every possible way: "Where has he been", "Ew its the gay kid" "Why is he even still alive".

"Good Morning Mr. Grier", my teacher Dr. Greyson said. I waved and ran to my seat in the back of the class next to Cam... I mean, um, Cameron, who didn't even attempt to glance my way. His focus was straight on the board, then to his book, writing down exactly what the teacher was saying. Kids turned their heads to see what I would do and what Cameron would do with me sitting near him. Just as he finished he notes he became fed up and slammed his pen down. "What!? Shouldn't you guys be copying the damn notes!", he screamed and everyone quickly jerked back into their scholarly positions.

In a moment of bravery and a feeling of protection, I decided to tap him on the shoulder and thank him for paying for the food last week, but it was a grave mistake. "And you! Don't you fucking touch me you fag! I don't wanna catch your gay!", he screamed jumping up from his desk. The entire class turned around again staring at me. Jc and Gilinsky looked at each other and shook their heads. Cameron grabbed his book and bag and ran up to an open seat at the front of the room. I sat there in shock as everyone shook their heads and judged me once again. What was wrong with me?

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Cameron's fiasco in the classroom had made things 10 times worse for me and I didn't even know it yet. Every class isolated me to a seat in the back corner as they moved their desks far away from it. In my history class on the 3rd floor someone put a sign reading "Jump, Nash" on the window. I kept my face straight but tears rolled down it the entire time.

At lunch I definitely wasn't prepared for the lunchroom, even if Jack Johnson was there, I decided to eat in the bathroom. As I walked into the boys bathroom to eat my lunch, I was greeted by the 3 boys again: Jc up against the sink, Jack Gilinsky in front of a stall & Mike near the door.

"We just can't keep you out of this school can we fag. Last time was a warning, but I guess you didn't get it... So what do we need to do for you to get it huh?", Jc explained. Mike walked out of the bathroom to block it from the outside as Jc and Gilinsky walked up to me.

"Why do you hate me Jc? I've been nothing but nice to you since the first grade.", I cried out dropping my lunch and my bag. "What did I do wrong? I tried to be your friend so many times and to impress you guys!"

"Yeah so he could get into our pants", Gilinsky laughed to Jc.

"Don't flatter yourself Gilinsky, im not into the whole lowlife bully boy with daddy issues he can't handle himself so he takes it out on someone else type of guy", I snarked back. Gilinsky ran over to me and pinned me against the wall by my neck with his forearm. I tried to push him off but his strong arms on my neck was too much. He pushed harder and harder, pushing me up the wall until my feet were inches off the bathroom floor. "Don't talk about my dad again got that princess? GOT IT?" I nodded quickly and he dropped me to the ground, walking away as Jc whispered to him, as if my life wasn't about to slip away right in his hands. They were truly sick people.

Jc returned towards me as I stood up, warming up his hands and cracking his knuckles. "That all you guys got? Weak asses", I said spreading my arms ready for another set of broken ribs. I closed my eyes ready for the excruciating pain in my chest to come but this time it felt weird. I had a feeling he wasn't aiming for my chest, and as I peeked out of my eyes I saw his fist coming directly to the side of my head. Dizziness came over as I spun around and fell towards the ground.

As I fell I could see a familiar figure bust through the door and run over to Jc, who in turn was running over to stomp me. Just as he lifted up his leg, Cam grabbed him from behind and threw him to the ground. "Don't you fucking touch him again! Understand!? ", Cameron said kicking Jc in between the legs as hard as possible. "I said do you fucking understand!", he screamed this time. Jc shook his head yes and scrunched up into a fetal position.

Cam walked over to Gilinsky and grabbed his collar, slamming him against the wall. "You too!", he said sternly. "Don't touch Nash, don't look at him, or even think about him" "Really bro, he's just a fucking fag, we're your real friends", Gilinsky managed out of the chokehold. Cam dropped him to the floor and ran his hands through his hair uneasily. For a second I was so scared he would turn on me and be upset that I cost him his friends, and maybe even his popularity, his life. If I had've never come out the damn closet everything would've been great between me and Cam, Jc, Gilinsky, Mike, even my mom. I felt so selfish and disgusting lying on the cold hard ground in that moment, but then Cam did the unexpected. He angrily walked over to me and picked me up in his arms. My long body stretched out in his strong arms as he walked me out of the door of the bathroom. As we stepped over mike laying there holding his nose in pain from what I guess was a jab from Cameron, I looked up into his eyes. He stared straight ahead into the distance as we walked down the hall recreating the distance I felt when he wouldn't look at me in class but this time it was different. I knew he cared about me, no matter what he called me, or said about me, he cared about me, more than anyone else.