The Truth Behind Those Eyes

Chapter Forty-One

Josh leapt the counter sending coffee and mugs flying. Knocking Will to the floor, he pinned him down by his throat and snarled ferociously. At the unexpected attack  Roxy stumbled backwards her mouth hanging open with shock as Mikey watched in complete disbelief.

"You liar!" Josh shouted, his hand crushing Will's throat.

"Josh, stop!" Nikki cried, reaching over the counter, trying unsuccessfully to reach him.

"Josh, get off him." At Roxy's cry, Mikey came to his senses. He grabbed Josh's arm and pried it from Will's throat but Josh was too quick. He snatched his hand back, shoving Mikey who landed unceremoniously on the floor.
Josh, blinded by fury, attacked the blonde man with his teeth bared growling, "Liar!" over and over.

"It's true." Nikki screamed, her wild eyes darting around the scene as she tried to think of ways to stop her Guardian. Josh, his arm raised to strike, froze.

"It's true but it's not how it seems." Nikki rushed to explain before the room exploded again and her voice was lost. She captured Josh with her vulnerable eyes and silently begged for his understanding. "Earlier, you thought I was scared of being here because of the demons getting in but you were wrong, I'm scared of myself. I don't trust myself anymore. I'm unstable with my ability and that makes me dangerous. Look at the car, Josh, I had no control. What if that happens again? What if next time you don't get out? I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt you! Will is right, I do think I'm going to kill you." Her voice trembled and cracked. Taking a steadying breath she forced herself to continue. "You don't seem willing to accept that I'm dangerous, more so than most of the demons you're facing and you're letting me get too close. You need to send me away, get me as far from you and your friends as possible before something really bad happens. What if next time I lose control and it's not an inanimate object I get the urge to burn? What if it's you? Or Sam? Or Mikey?" Nikki hung her head, hot, angry tears of desperation falling down her face. Voicing her worst fears made them seem all the more real. Turning her back to the room, she slid down to the floor and rested against the counter. The truth was out and it was only a matter of time before she was sent packing.

"Get off me." Will huffed from the other side of the divide. After a moment of silence Nikki heard grunts and groans, and furniture being put back into place as she pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her lap. She couldn't bear to look, knowing that yet again she's caused problems. Wrapping her arms around her shins and curling into herself as much as she physically could, she silently begged the ground to open up and swallow her. Humiliation, fear and regret washed through and as she begged anyone or anything listening to make her disappear.

Disappear. She laughed bitterly through the tears. How ironic that the one thing she wanted was the very same thing that was making life so difficult. She had become lost along her strange journey and there was no turning back to find herself again. The Nikki she once knew had disappeared and in her place stood a masquerading monster, its disguise so good it even deceived her Guardian. Nikki hated herself.
She startled as a warm hand touched her shoulder. Hesitantly, she looked up through her blurry vision to see Josh. Behind him Mikey stared at her, his expression full of pain.

"Don't cry sweet--"

"Don't comfort me!" She yelled, pushing Josh away. He withdrew his hand, rejection and grief shining in his eyes. Unable to hold his gaze Nikki looked away, sickened by her selfish fury.

"You should despise me. Will was right not to trust me. I'm more deadly than you know, I'm more dangerous than any of us could possibly imagine. I can feel it, eating away at me, it's disgusting and black and putrid." Without conscious thought she pulled herself up, the anger within her bubbling to the surface and silencing her conscious thought. She could feel herself changing as the gnawing wrath once again rose up and dragged her under, smothering her in the fire of fury. She didn't want this, not here, not now but try as she might she couldn't stop herself becoming possessed by the rage. In a rush of heat it consumed her and she was left powerless against the surge of undiluted vehemence and anger. Succumbing to the unstoppable anger, her self-control slipped and once again, she became a puppet to the anger.
Nikki glared at Josh. "I'm a monster," she spat, her rage controlling both her words and actions.
Surreptitiously, Roxy walked around Mikey, positioning herself at Josh's left shoulder but Nikki ignored her, she was inconsequential, she didn't matter.