The Truth Behind Those Eyes

Chapter Thirty

The bar was quiet save for Nikki and Josh who had taken residency at a round table farthest from the door. The glow from the fridges storing the drinks behind the bar kept the darkness at bay. They were helped by the low wattage bulb, housed in a Tiffany's shade that hung above the cash register.

"So, do you come to Romania often?".

"That's the worse pick up line ever!" Josh smirked, attempting to diffuse the tension.

"Hilarious." Nikki's resentment towards her Guardian was becoming uncontrollable and she was finding it increasingly difficult to stop the sarcastic comments and stem her anger. Josh sat back in the seat and raised his feet to the polished wood table. Taking a gulp of his drink he kept his eyes on her. "I come and go as much as I can. It depends on where I'm sent and what I need to do."

"Or who."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing."

They continued drinking in silence, privately brooding over their own issues. The large clock over the bar ticked quietly, the hands sliding around to four-thirty. Josh refilled his glass and Nikki bitterly noticed that he had almost drained the entire bottle. She had wanted another shot of liquor but he had said no and handed her a glass of water like she was a child. Her initial reaction had been to throw it in his face but for the sake of keeping the peace she'd restrained herself. Sam had hinted that it would be wise to have a good relationship with Josh as he'd be around for a long time but try as she might, she could not quell the rising fury.

"I'm stuck with you aren't I?" she growled. "Until I die you're going to be around, so--" Nikki pushed back her chair to pace around the table. "I want to get a few things off my chest. You expect me to trust you. You demand that I put my life in your hands and insist I tell you everything but here you are covered in dirty little secrets that you refuse to share. Well it's not on. Trust is a two way street, Josh and I'll be damned if you think I'm your puppet to control. I'm a person and you don't get to dictate everything! I want to know who, what, where and why, and you, well, you should tell me!" She stopped next to Josh, her shaking hands resting on her hips as she drunkenly poured out what had been eating away at her. "Every question, every single question I ask, you dodge! Like just now, you've been here plenty of times, you know the language and apparently a lot of the people so why do you insist on lying?"

In a flash he was up, scowling down at his Charge. "I tell you what you need to know, the rest is my business."

"You tell me nothing, I have to ask Sam or put two and two together. You," she thrust her index finger against his chest and took a step closer, "tell me nothing. I'm not that breakable, I'm not that fucking fragile!"

He swatted her hand away. "This from the girl who threw herself off the balcony! Face it, you couldn't be any more emotionally fragile if you tried."

Her vision blurred as rage overcame her. "Well maybe if I'd had all the information I wouldn't have done it. Maybe if you'd let me in on your business I'd have listened to what you had to say. God-fucking-damn you, you pompous, cocky arse-" She made to push him but Josh caught her hands as she raised them. With an arrogant smirk, he reached around and pinned her arms behind her back. Closing the small gap between them he purposefully slammed her body into his, shuddering at the jolt of desire that shot through him. This was dangerous territory but he couldn't help himself. Linking his fingers around both of her wrists, he held her easily with one hand. Using his other, he took hold of the base of her neck and held her as still as he could without hurting her. He wanted to prove that he was in control but having her so close was an assault to his senses and he knew that if he didn't let go soon, he was going to lose control. She struggled against him and cursed, spitting her aggressive words like poison. She hissed profanities but her resistance was fading and Josh couldn't tell if she was fighting to get away from or closer to him. He stared hungrily down and Nikki knew she had to avert her eyes. His intense gaze as he held her tight was too appealing, even through her anger. She held on to her fury trying to distract herself from the growing desire clawing through her body but she was failing. Biting her bottom lip, she let out a groan of frustration. She couldn't break free, but more infuriatingly, she knew she didn't want to. He had her exactly where she longed to be. Holding Nikki against himself, Josh watched her reaction. As her lips parted to force out a low growl he felt his breath catch. This was beyond dangerous now. The whisky he'd drank was making his head spin and the feel of her pressing up against him was too good to deny. He knew what little control he had left was slipping through his fingers and as she moved her hips against him he felt himself harden. She sporadically thrashed and with each brush of her pelvis, Josh's resolve faltered until he was past the point of no return. He imagined her hot, naked and in the throes of passion. What he wouldn't do to throw her across the table and take her right there, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. To keep her alive he had to sacrifice his own selfish cravings.

"You." He squeezed his hazel eyes closed in concentration. "Why must you?" Nikki waited and held her breath as a variety of intense emotions flickered across his face. "Nikki," his low, feral tone sent a shiver down her spine, "you are so ... I can't give you what you need, I ... " He opened his eyes and dipped his head, his lips barely an inch from hers.

Gritting his teeth in concentration, he moved his hand up from her neck, fisting her hair in desperation. "Fuck it! You wanna know, then I'll tell you. I want every inch of you. I want to have you, to taste you, to fuck you. I want to hear you scream my name in ecstasy as I fuck you into oblivion... " He was panting against her and as he released her hands to pull her hips even closer she felt the stiffness in his jeans. As Josh ground against her, Nikki gasped. All her animosity melted in the flash of lust that pooled in low in her belly. She wrapped her arms around him and reciprocated his actions. Her breathing sped and their eyes locked, cementing their indisputable attraction. He wanted her as much as she needed him. Their lips brushed momentarily but before it could be called a kiss, Josh pulled back.

"But I don't have a choice," he continued gruffly, "it's not my decision no matter how much I might want to."

Turning his face into her hair she felt his lips against her ear. "I don't know why there's such a connection, I've never felt so obsessed." He inhaled deeply before slowly untangling his hands and pulling back. Inching away from her, it was obvious to Nikki that it was difficult for him to let her go. But that held little consolation as she was left reeling from his openness and the sexually charged tension. With effort, Josh looked up to the ticking clock.

"It'll be dawn soon, we should probably go." Disappointment laced his words as he held out his hand to her.

"Josh." Even as she spoke his name, Nikki knew that he'd said his piece and no matter what she tried, he wouldn't elaborate so she gave up. She closed her mouth and took his outstretched hand.

Leading her to the exit Josh sighed. "I won't watch you die like Sally. I'll behave better. I won't let you down, no matter how I ... "

Nikki waited. Waited and prayed but Josh never finished his sentence. Instead he pulled her through the exit and back to the bank of elevators in thoughtful silence.