Stuck At The 9th Step

CHAPTER 52 : MADNESS

#SAT9S

DEDICATED TO : SHANE LIMONAR

(Note : May nagtanong sa akin kung ba't kailangan ko i-include ang past ni Shinn. I think it's a MUST. For you to understand the way he behaves 'coz I don't know if  you're going to love or despise him in the next chapters. That's all for now.)

CHAPTER 52 : MADNESS

Letting anyone knew my true identity was the least thing I want to happen. Yet, keeping my profile low had been quite of a problem. I've been a party frenzy for years. Hence, I became an eye-catcher. I enjoyed it but at the same time, it's quite disturbing to think that there would be a chance for my family to know my whereabouts. For sure, they wouldn't waste a time to send guards to capture me. I can't let that happen, not when I'm still looking for my kind of pleasure. A higher one that could beat all my previous records.

Finding my own contentment is not yet written on my set of list. Why? For a plain-vanilla reason. Being contented is void of freedom, too. Para akong humanap ng sarili kong kulungan. No friggin' way. Hangga't maaari ay wala akong kaaadikan. So, I settled for the things that could please me for a moment, just for a little moments of self-satisfaction. When I get tired of it, sorry not sorry but it's time for disposal, baby. I've got no time for hypocrisy. A life without booze and sex is a killer. I can't imagine myself dying in boredom and drought with eyes widely open. That would be extremely awful.

However, unforeseen things must be genuinely special. In a good or fucking bad way that meant to rearrange or destroy my way of living. The consequence of sheer madness. Fate is a real fuck indeed, and karma is a real bitch.

The first strike happened when I was with these three. Ryan and Roy's another brother, Rex, visited the two assholes in New York. We went on the same bar, so they tag me along. One night that I got wasted and unaware that I've been bluffing on my way home, I spilled my own secret.

"No family, no problem!" My arms were lifted by them while I couldn't even feel my feet as I step unsteadily. My vision was kinda blurry, so I partly focus on what I hear. Too blasted by inebriant. Masyadong marami ang alak na nainom ko sa gabing 'yon.

"Ang gago talaga. Inom nang inom marami, hindi naman kaya." Oh, I heard a magic word, or was that their endearment for a dear friend? Gago. Akala ba nila hindi ko sila naiintindihan pag lasing ako? Roy is a real arse. I should poison him. No. Breaking his cam would be the best. This asshole would cry for sure.

"Stiff." I hissed,

"Tangina. Dapat iniwan na lang natin 'to."

"Hold your mouth, Roy." That was Ryan for sure. The leader figure turns out to be fatherly. It sucks to be the eldest. From one sudden moment, I remembered Armour to him. I dismissed the thought as fast as it came into my head.

"Hanggang dito ba naman sa New York ganyan ang ugali mo?" The voice wasn't very familiar to me. Maybe, that was Rex.

And they end up having an argument. I couldn't help but grin. See? It's good to live alone. Having a family isn't as good as having the privilege of being independent. You can live your life the way you want. You decide alone. No one will interfere. No unnecessary rules. No fucking tradition. You're limitless! Isn't that amazing? What will you get with people who mostly butt in on your way of living? They will only push you to choose the wrong options. Why would you even bother to share your needs when you can have it on your own? Why would you even bother to care when they usually gave you tons of additional baggage to carry? Mostly, they were the cause of a problem and eventually would accuse you of being a burden but the fucking truth was it's the other way around. They were the hindrance. A burden that causes you to be someone else. You cannot be yourself if you're tied with something. What more if someone keeps on holding you behind? It's same banana.