Alpha, surprised to see me?

Chapter 7 (Revised)

Chapter 7

Julia.

   That is a name that five years ago you would not know. You would ask "Who? Ive never heard of a girl named, Julia."

   You would only look right through me. A meer shadow you pass to continue on in the thread of your own life.

   But who is Julia Williams?

   Is she evil? Tainted? How about frightened?

   Frightened at what reality is and what reality will be. Will reality justify the good and evil or will it only diminish the fact that good things only happen to good people and evil things to evil people? Well, I'm here to say that not everything is black and white, that's what frightens me the most. The fact that I can't decipher the difference between what is good and evil.

   And for this lack of understanding I have no Redemption for it. It is my sweet Rapture.

   My Temptation.

   My Passion.

   My Fuel.

   ...My Everything.

   I lost myself long ago to the evil that lurks in this world. I lost a piece of my soul that I thought was complete. Complete with death and misery, but I am more empty and lifeless than I was before.

   And I think the most scary thing is is that I feed off of it. I love the rush that comes with the kill. The scream. The pleading. I really am a monster. I became what I never wanted to become. I was scared of myself and I loved it. I never wanted to convert back to my innocent ways.

   I convinced myself for years that all things were spiteful. That I was meant to be:

   Scorned.

   Hateful.

   Manipulative.

   Twisted.

   Envious.

   Cunning.

   Wicked.

   Vicious.

   Unforgiving.

   Sadistic.

   Sinful.

   Inhumane, because you see; life isn't a fairy tale.

   It never was.

   And I hate to admit it but...I'm Scared.

   For once in my life I, Julia Williams, am scared of the unknown.

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So this isn't really a moving forward chapter...

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-Eden