ch.29 Want it

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 I threw off Liam’s stupid dress and kicked it under my bed, hoping that hiding it would make Liam disappear as well.

Then I put on some sweats and a t shirt and hid myself under the covers to muffle my tears.

A quick urgent knock sounded at my door. For a second, I thought it was Liam coming to completely finish our so-called “date.”

“C-come in” I stuttered carefully.

Danny’s in the other room, he’ll hear me scream and barge in and kill Liam before Liam can say my name.

I saw a short, tiny figure with long blonde hair and piercing grey eyes.

“Angie” the voice spoke in a broken voice.

“Becky?” I asked as I sat upright in bed.

“Are you ok?” I asked her quietly. I heard sniffles and quick, short breaths.

She shook her head “no.”

My heart sunk in my chest. Liam had broken up with her right after she had confessed her love for him. And he had left her in pieces.

Becky came over to the edge of my bed and I patted a spot next to me so that she could sit.

“Angie, Liam-Liam broke up with me” she half-whispered as her voice shook.

“Becky, I’m so sorry” I apologized. And it was my fault. Liam had been using Becky just like Louis used her to mess with me.

Why did everyone get hurt in the process of trying to protect me?

Why couldn’t those men have shot me instead of my dad? Harry wouldn’t have been shot or beaten or jailed because of me. Danny could sleep with ease knowing that he didn’t have a sister that was magnetic to pain and danger. And Becky, Becky could have had a decent friend who wasn’t the reason she had so many heartbreaks.

“Becky, it will be alright. It was probably for the best” I reassured her. And I was telling the honest truth. I don’t know how Liam was with Becky, but he certainly was horrible with me, so Becky wasn’t missing much.

But, from the way she was crying and her hands were trembling, I could tell that Liam must have been really sweet to her.

I rubbed Becky’s shoulder softly.

She leaned her head against my shoulder and shook her head softly.

“Angie, Liam was-was the best guy I’ve ever dated” she told me in between quick breaths and tear drops.

I nodded painfully. Well he was the worst one for me.

“Like you said, there aren’t that many good guys out there” Becky reminded me of something I had said. It was true; Liam used to be on my top list of “good” guys, but his obsession with being good and beating Harry out of the picture was making him a total asshole. He was almost as bad as Louis.

The worst part of it all wasn’t that Liam was a complete dick, but that I had brought it all upon myself.

I let Liam weave his way into my head and my guilty heart and plant doubts about Harry. He used me greatest weakness to his advantage: guilt. I was born with guilt. I’m not even supposed to be alive right now, my mom should be here. I should have died the night I was born.

“There aren’t” I agreed.

“But that doesn’t mean that you won’t find one” I reassured her. I reached for a tissue and dabbed at her eyes.


Becky deserves better than anyone I know. And way better than me. But it killed me to know that I was the reason she had gone through her last two heartbreaks.

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