Her Love (exo x shinee)

Chapter 43

I don't know if i ended up in the hospital, but at this moment all i see are white brick walls, white floors and a never ending path. I call this, the immortal moment.

It was depressing. I had no way out and i kept hearing voices. Voices telling me to wake up, voices apologising and crying. During this "immortal moment", i learnt so much through these voices. Secrets i never knew and things that happened behind closed doors.

I finally realised i was in a hospital when i heard voices explaining how i might lose my memory if i wake up. I thought i was already dead though, but i still couldn't tell if i was dreaming or not. I don't know exactly how many days have passed. At first i couldn't remember a thing, i was just totally confused. As days go by, i started recalling whose voice it was every time i hear it.

Frustration is too small a word to describe how i felt. I could hear every single word clearly, but i couldn't respond. The doctors were updating whoever was there everyday and one of the days, i heard the doctor saying that my brain activity have returned but my prognosis wasn't good. They were trying their best to make sure i'm on a stable condition, in hopes that i would gain consciousness soon.

I couldn't feel what they were doing to my body, i don't know what's going on out there. Frustrated, depressed and annoyed.

Throughout this whole "immortal moment", i heard way too much for me to take in. There were fights, confessions, cryings and there's this intense sadness attached to most of my memory along with anger. Out of all the things i've heard, the one that's kept me going would definitely be this young man's voice repetitively saying, "it's okay, i know you're alright." He was the only one who thinks i'm alright. He would also play the guitar and sing me songs that sooth the pain and frustration i was going through.

People were giving up on me, i could hear them clearly. I was giving up on myself too. All i do is bang the brick walls, lie on the white floor and just be helpless. As i lay on the white floor and closed my eyes, i felt like i was being pulled backwards quickly through darkness - like going through a dimension of nothingness.

My fingers twitched and i could feel someone holding on to my hand. I tried opening my eyes. It feels like i just woke up from a really long nap. "Haru? Haru are you okay? Haru? H-haru?" that familiar voice was the first thing i heard when i got up.

It felt like i was being greeted by a pod of souls in a dimension of hyperspace. I was confused at first, i couldn't recognize the people who were surrounding me. They were all repetitively asking whether i remember them. It was too much for me to take in, i was starting to get annoyed. The doctor told them to leave, except for two people.

"Haru, how are you doing today?" He asked as he clicked his pen and took some notes.

"I'm doing great, i guess. My head hurts though."

"That's completely normal. Do you remember them?"

I looked over and stared at them. I looked hard. "I... I don't remember him but... Sehee? She's Sehee. My best friend since middle school." As i answered the doctor, i could see the look on his face. He was disappointed but he was telling himself that it's okay.

I spent another week or two at the hospital before i was discharged. Throughout the one to two weeks i had at the hospital, he visited me everyday. He'll arrive before i get up and leave after i sleep. He also made sure he prepared all my meals for me and he feeds me too.

I felt bad because i still couldn't remember a lot of things, i couldn't even remember his name. He would sit by my side all day, sing me songs and help me recall my memories bit by bit. "Do you remember me? I'm Jonghyun." That would be the first and last thing he'd say everyday.

On the day i got discharged, Jonghyun and Sehee fetched me. While Sehee went to to settle the paperworks and my medicines, Jonghyun helped me pack my stuff and made sure i was ready to go. "Are you okay? Ready to go home?" He said as he looked at me. I've always loved how he looks at me so lovingly.

"As ready as i'll ever be."

"Alright, let's go! Take my hand" He offered his hand. I was hesitating but he took my hand and locked his fingers with mine. Sehee left me with him since she had to get back to work. During the car ride home, i gathered some courage to ask him a few things.

"Mmm.. J-jong..hyun?"

"Yes what is it?"

"You visit me everyday without fail, but all you talk about is Sehun. Who is he? Don't i have memories with other people?"

"Ahhh Sehun... He's someone really special to you."

"If he's special to me, then why didn't he come to visit instead of you? Am i not special to him?" His smile slowly faded.

"You're special Haru... You're special to everyone. He's just busy, he'll come by soon." He reassured me.

Jonghyun never gave up helping me with my memories. It was a confusing patchwork of bits and pieces that i couldn't put together, but he would patiently guide me through. Sitting in my music room with me, making sure i remember all the names of those people in the pictures on my walls. He would continue stressing on Sehun and i realize that it's only happy memories when it comes to Sehun, i don't even know whether all those are for real or is he just making it all up?

My memory was getting a little better now, but not good enough for me to be wondering out on the streets on my own. Home alone for the first half of the day, as usual. The doorbell rang accompanied with a series of impatient knocks, "haru ya!!!! Haru!!! We're here!" I opened the door and the boys are here, "hey!" I stood by the door till the last person enters.

I looked at Sehun as he entered, it's like my memories just flashed by. I spent the afternoon with them till Jonghyun and his members came over. Everyone was having fun and being noisy as usual but Sehun was isolating himself at corner. The more i look at him, the more my memories kept flashing back. All of them, bit by bit.

At this point, i'm just wondering why Jonghyun is trying so hard to make me recall Sehun as a sweet and loving person when he truly wasn't....