Damned If I Do

Chapter 15

I decided to sleep in today. I roll over in my bed to reach for my phone off my bedside table. It's noon and I have three missed calls from Rafe. I immediately try to call him back, but no luck. I let out a disappointed sigh and begin to climb out of bed. Great way to start my birthday. I straighten my hair and decide to leave it down today. I do some light makeup, something easy to remove. Because later I'll have to redo it for my party. I put on something like this:

I'm quickly greeted when I make it to the bottom of the stairs by a ton of gifts and shiny, silver and pink balloons. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" My mom and Wheezie shout as they pop around the corner! I burst out into laughter. It feels nice to genuinely laugh. "Happy birthday, Lexi." Ward says as he rounds the corner and approaches me for a hug. Shut the fuck up. If Ward is here that means... "Happy birthday, Lex!" Rafe exclaims as he walks out behind Ward. I'm actually in shock. My mouth falls open and I just stare at Rafe. Part of me wants to punch him for the pain I've felt the last few months, and part of me wants to run into his arms and rip his clothes off. Rafe is looking with me with absolutely adoration.

"We already know, Lexi." Wheezie speaks and scrunches her nose. I give her a confused look. My mom and Ward let out small laughs. Rafe rushes to me, picking me up and kissing me. Ward clears his throat causing Rafe and I to break apart. "Even though you both are legal adults now, we don't want any hanky panky under this roof." My mom speaks. "How did you guys find out?" I ask looking between the two of them and leaning into Rafe's body. "Rafe told me before we left." Ward speaks. I give Rafe a what the fuck look. "An argument occurred while we were planning our trip to the Bahamas and my feelings for you kind of slipped out." Rafe says shyly. I'm honestly not even mad, the fact that the whole world can know about Rafe and I is the greatest birthday gift I ever could've received. Everyone goes their separate ways as my mom reminds me for the hundredth time about my party later.

Rafe and I head up to my room, so I can get the dress I originally planned to wear tonight. I'm going to exchange it. Not only is it my day, but it's basically our coming out party. I have to look good for my man. Rafe apologizes to me profusely about not being able to reach out to me and explains how the Bahamas got hit pretty hard by that storm and all cell towers were down until yesterday. He said he wanted to reach out to me yesterday but there was only one more day until my birthday and wanted to wait to surprise me, even though it was killing him. He only reached out to Barry to check in on me and see how I was since he figured I was probably upset. Once Barry told him how depressed I was and so on, he talked with Ward and they decided to fly home early this morning to surprise me for my birthday.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Rafe asks me as I grab the dress bag out of my closet. "As much as I want to spend time with you right now, you can't come. I want you to be surprised." I lightly grab the collar of his shirt and pull him into a kiss. I explain to Rafe what JJ has told me over the past few months and ask him if I can be involved now that we're an official couple. "Baby, you're gonna have to pick a side. And as much joy as that brings me because I hate the fucking pogues, I don't want to ask that of you." Rafe speaks softly. "Okay, well, can you at least tell me what that shit with Shoupe is about?" I sigh. Rafe looks at me for a second, contemplating.

"Okay. I'll tell you." Rafe sits on the edge of my bed and pulls me onto his lap. "Shoupe was a good friend of your dad's." Rafe says. "Okay..." I drag out the word. "Look, Lexi, your dad wasn't what you think of him. He never abused you or your mom. He was working with Big John many, many years ago on trying to find the Royal Merchant. Your dad found it, he knew way more than anyone. Big John got greedy and they got into a fight one night when you and your mom were upstairs. He killed your dad and then drunkenly came after you and your mom. My dad came in and saved you guys, which you already knew. Your mom kept the truth from you out of fear. Someone found her a few years after your dad was killed and they threatened to kill you if the truth got out. I don't know who the man was, but I do know that John B knows his dad killed yours." Rafe explains. I look at him trying to understand.

"Your dad loved you and your mom very much. All we know is Big John killed your dad in cold blood, we're still trying to figure out a motive." Rafe continues. "So then, why did your dad kill Big John?" I question. "Because Big John was about to kill him, the same way he killed your dad. It was out of self defense. We have numerous amounts of evidence and witnesses." Rafe speaks again. "Why are you doing all this?" I ask him with tears forming in my eyes. "Because I love you and you deserve to know the truth." He looks at my lips with lust filled eyes. "Rafe." I lean in close so our noses brush. "Yeah, baby?" He asks leaning in another inch. "I choose you. I'm all in." I say before kissing him. That was by far the easiest decision I've ever made.

"Lex, are you ready?" Wheezie asks standing in the doorway. "Uh, yeah, yeah." I say, trying to pull myself together "I'll see you later." Rafe says and kisses my cheek before walking out of the room. "Let's get to the store before it closes. I need something to wear." Wheezie says, moving her arms in a hurry up motion.

•

I help Wheezie find something cute and age appropriate to wear to the party tonight. It's a really pretty, baby blue dress. She's so excited. We continue to walk around the store trying to find a new dress for me. I sing along to the song playing throughout the store while scanning the dress racks. "Even in my worst times you could see the best of me. Flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes. Even in my worst lies you saw the truth in me." I go look at another set of dresses and continue to sing. "I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side. My one and only, my life line." I continue my search for the perfect dress when Wheezie calls me over to a rack full of red dresses. Rafe's favorite color is red. I skim through the rack and oh my God. I found the perfect dress for tonight. "Only bought this dress so you could take it off."