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April 30, 2024 Home ~~~
Baby, I wish it were different My words, my visions Our world beginning Now, it is splitting in two Even when I think I suffer I think of your kids, your mother Then I have to commend my lover When I think of how it must feel to be you
In my eyes, nobody gets it In my heart and my defense I'm just a lovesick, something we can't resist First, I'm certain then I'm on the fence Distant, then I'm in your skin It's endless how this pain persists I'm just lovesick
Drowning away my thoughts with music, I laid in my bathtub crying my eyes out. I couldn't bring myself to stop the tears from flowing no matter how hard I tried. It was taking a toll on my parenting, my everyday life and much more. I can't remember the last full meal I've had. I eventually stopped eating all together once I realized that I couldn't keep anything down.
A knock at the bathroom door caused me to sit my head up.
"Bae you good?"
I quickly used my wet hands to wipe away the tears cascading.
"Um," My voice cracked, "Yeah I'm okay. Are the kids here yet?"
"No...you hungry?"
I sniffled, "Uh, no. I just want some hot tea if you could do that for me."
"No problem."
"Thank you." I whispered before turning my body back around. Demarco has been here being such a help to me and my children. I couldn't thank him enough for all that he's done over the past few weeks of him being here. He's been really understanding about the whole situation and has even allowed me to share with him my innermost feelings about the situation with Shamir.
Drying my tears, I released the bath water from the tub and stood up. I turned the shower on and began to bathe myself properly, at least attempting to pull myself from the funk that I've been trapped in. ~~~
"Here you go." Demarco handed me a mug full of hot green tea. I gladly accepted it pecking his lips before sitting on the bed curling my body up. "He just called me and let me know the kids are on their way."
"Okay good." I nodded.
Shamir had been blowing my phone up for days trying to reach his children. I just hadn't been able to communicate nor face him. But truth of the matter was I needed a break too, so Marco reached out to him and dropped them off to Sha a week ago. After realizing that I made him go through my boyfriend to see his kids, Sha sent me a long lengthy paragraph pissed about it. I know it isn't right, but it's the only way he can see them for now.
"You sure you're not hungry?" Marco asked and I nodded.
"Yeah I'm okay, this tea is just what I need." I sat myself up, "Are you getting your daughter this weekend?"
