{Avenged Sevenfold} Help Me Find My Way {Book 2}

{Avenged Sevenfold} Help Me Find My Way {Book 2} [18]

I watched Andy laying in the bed with her twin and felt my heart beat. I'd never been so conscious of the effort it took to pump the blood through my veins. Looking at them a million different versions of last night ran through my mind. I stood up abruptly causing Andy to look at me.

"I'm going to go for a walk while he's sleeping. Ill be back soon."

She nodded and I walked into the hall. I wasn't sure where I was going but I let my feet lead me while I tried to keep my mind blank. Before I knew it I found myself standing in front of two plain dark brown doors. I hesitated it had been almost 16 years since I set foot in here. I'd made a deal back then could I do it again?

I pushed the wooden doors open finding myself alone with the stained glass, white walls, and dark wood furniture. I closed the doors behind me and made my way to the front bench. I took a seat and stared at the lit candles in front of me. Just like 15 years ago I could feel Jimmy filling the room.

"I screwed up Jimmy. I know they are teenagers but I never thought....how do I protect them now? How do I get them to trust me like they do you? How do I help them move past this? Help me Jimmy. Help me be the father you didn't get to be and I'll pay any price."

The steady beeping of the machines and the steady rise and fall of my twins chest as he slept had me nearly dozing.

A slightly louder beep to close on the heels of the previous one followed by a shuddering breath from Jr had me sitting up quickly.

"Don't leave Sis." Jr reached out for my hand and I gladly took it.

"You scared me I was just going for the nurse."

I smiled at his strained chuckle.

"It's the damn machines every time I twitch there is an alarm somewhere."

I squeezed his hand. "Better to many than not enough."

"Don't worry Sis you aren't getting rid of me that easy."

I smiled and laid back down with him in the cramped hospital bed. He chuckled a little and brushed my hair from his nose.

"I guess it has been a while since we had a sleepover we don't fit in the same bed anymore." He looked around the room. "Where is Matt?"

"He took a walk he seemed really shook up," I said feeling a heavy weight settle in my chest.

"I saw dad last night. He sat on the edge of the bed and talked to me."

"What did he say?"

"He said..."

There was a quick knock on the door followed by it swinging open to allow Zacky and Val to come in.

"How's our favorite set of twins today?" Zacky asked as Val set a vase of wild flowers on the bedside table.

"Doing much better," Jr answered.

"Good where's your Dad we need to discuss how we are handling this media situation."

"What media situation?" I asked sitting straight up on the bed.

Val frowned at Zacky.

"What? For once I agree completely with Brian they need to understand the full ramifications of what happened."

"What's he talking about Val?"

"Someone on the hospital staff let it leak to the press that one of you were hospitalized for a possible drug overdose. Needless to say..."

"The media is having a field day," I muttered. I shook my head and then slowly climbed off the bed with a sinking feeling. "I'll go find Matt."

"Do you want some help?" Val asked her eyes held a soft light I'd often seen in my own mother's eyes or Michelle's when De was leaving the house.

"No I'll be fine." I turned and rushed through the door shutting it firmly behind me. I'd head for the cafeteria first then check outside.

The candles flickered in front of me but only quiet filled the room.

"I'll give anything Jimmy just please don't let me fail your children as a father."

The door behind me cracked open the shut quietly. Soft footfalls tapped their way down to the row I was sitting in. I waited for the person to move on but instead they came down the row and settled next to me. I looked over into Andy's sad blue eyes.

"Zacky and Val are here." She took a deep shuddering breath her eyes misting over. "Val said someone leaked that one of us was in the hospital due to a possible drug overdose."

"Shit! Those damn mother-" I snapped my mouth shut as Andy started sobbing.

"I'm sorry! It's all my fault!"

"Andy no its not." I pulled her close in a hug and felt the corners of my mouth twitch up for a moment as she buried her head in my chest. "This isn't your fault or Jr's. yes you guys made mistakes last night but what teenager doesn't? Yours unfortunately just don't get to stay as private as they should."

"Is it going to be awful?"

I hesitated. I could lie but it wouldn't really help anyone.

"Probably at first but we'll do our best to cut it off quickly just keep your chin up ok kiddo?"

"Ok."

"Ready to go back now?"

"Can we stop at the bathroom so I can fix my makeup? I don't want Jimmy to know I was crying."

"Sure." I stood up and helped her up. She led the way to the aisle and started to the door. I turned to the front of the chapel and said a silent thank you to my brother before turning and following her to the door where she was waiting for me.

"Why the chapel?"

"It's a good place for quiet contemplation."

"Oh."

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Ok sorry it took so long I got a promotion at work and have been putting in extra hours learning my new duties. Yesterday I was crying to much and today instead of crying again I thought i'd try to channel the emotion toward something more productive to make others happy because that's more of what Chi would have wanted. I hope that you enjoyed it and a big thank you to everyone sticking with this story and a big hello to the new readers.