Her Revenge

Chapter 26 - Cold Water

The days here were passing surprisingly quickly. I had expected them to drag on, but a week had passed with a blink of an eye it seemed. With that week passing, it meant that we were arriving closer to the day where Carlos would be joining us at Sebastian's mansion. There was this feeling of anxiety that seemed to be constantly looming around my mind lately, one that I haven't been able to shake. I haven't been sleeping, well not more than 2 hours at one time. Every single time I was even close to getting a good night's sleep, memories from the past would come back to haunt. Tonight was no different. My afternoon nap that I decided to take against my better judgement, which I only took because I was practically dead on my feet and Maria pretty much had locked me in this room, was not really going to plan. 

Sitting up right in the bed, I was hugging my knees tightly to my chest, chest heaving up and down rapidly, trying to get some breath back into my lungs. There was a thin layer of sweat coating my skin that was no help in trying ease the burning underneath it. My heart was racing. I knew that I was relatively safe now. I knew that the voices I could hear inside of my mind weren't real, they weren't actually here. I knew all of these things, yet still it all seemed so real. It was like I still there, locked away in that one moment, unable to escape.

"Such a pretty girl isn't she?",

Their voices sounded so real, 

"She won't be looking so pretty after I've had my way with her",

I swear that I could feel their breath on my neck,

"I just know that she is going to take me so good", 

Tears were building up behind my eyes and I felt my body begin to rock back and forth, 

"Trust me, baby, you're going to love this", 

I could feel my throat constricting, like there were hands around it, 

"Such a good girl", 

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't fucking breathe, 

"Aren't you glad that your Daddy gave you to us to play with again", 

It hurts, everything hurts. 

A sob tore through my lips as I felt myself trying to gasp for some air. But it was pointless, it wasn't working. It felt as if there was a boulder on my chest, squashing my slowly into nothing. I tried to breathe but it wasn't working. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything through the blurriness. My heart was hammering as the fear rose. I couldn't breathe. 

Pushing my head further down into my knees, I dug my nails into the skin around them. Soon I felt the familiar trickle of blood down the lower half of my legs and the stinging sensation that accompanied it. But it wasn't enough. I couldn't breathe. 

Almost falling down off the bed as I stumbled out of it, I searched for something, anything to help, to relieve this pressure off of my chest. Practically crawling into the bathroom, hoping that no one would hear me, I turned the shower on and went under its spray, still fully clothed. The cold water instantly made me flinch away, but I stayed there, slowly feeling the oxygen fill my lungs once more. As I took in a breath of air, the tears broke loose, falling rapidly down my cheeks, accompanied with a gut wrenching sob escaping from my lips. I stayed under the cold water crying for the girl I used to be, for how much was taken from her. Crying for the girl that I am now and how I just can't seem to move forward, I can't get over anything. I was tired of fighting the same fight constantly. I was tired of being alone. I was tired of secrets and pain. I stayed under the cold stream of water, even when the began to burn my skin, I just cuddled myself into a ball once more. I stayed even when my teeth began chattering and my skin was gifted a hue of blue. I stayed until the tears subsided and I was able to breathe without it hurting. And even then I stayed a little longer. 

My hair, body and clothes were drenched when there was a faint knock at the bathroom door. I lifted my head from the safety of my knees as I looked at it. It wasn't moving and I wasn't sure if there was any noise on the other side of it. With shaking hands and legs, I stood up and turned the shower off. My body erupted into shivers as I walked over to the mirror.  I look at myself and only felt disgust. I looked like a mess. My hair was drenched, plaster to my body. My eyes were bloodshot. I looked horrible. 

You are still that same little weak girl you once were.

My father's voice yells inside of my head. I closed my eyes, squeezing them as tight as I possibly could and shook my head violently. There was another knock at the door, thought this time it was louder. 

"Give me a second!", I yelled through chattering teeth. 

I quickly stripped out of my wet pyjamas, throwing them somewhere on the floor in the bathroom and wrapped a towel around my still shivering body. I opened the door to the bedroom to be met with a fist raised, no doubt ready to knock once more. 

"Jesus Christ are you deaf?", a deep voice says, I wasn't sure if my body was still shivering from the cold or from that. 

The hand moves away and I'm greeted with Sebastian, with a less than pleased expression taking over his features. I scoff as I slid past him towards the walk in closet where nearly all of my clothes from my apartment were now neatly hung or folded. That's right, when Sebastian said he would send his men to bring some stuff from my apartment to here, I thought that he meant like a weeks worth of clothes, but no, he brought almost everything. As I was grabbing a bra and underwear, heavy footsteps trodded into the room. 

"I was talking to you", is all he says. 

I don't reply, as I'm focusing on not letting him now about how vulnerable I was. There was still this pressure in my chest that wasn't leaving and the feeling of hands wrapped around my neck, but I could deal with those, I knew that they were just my mind playing tricks on me, they weren't real. But Sebastian was. He was so real that it hurt sometimes, he wasn't a walking reminder of my past. And I hated him for it. 

"Seriously?", he says, the disbelief evident in his tone, "You are ignoring me?"

Still staying silent I turned my back and grabbed a black mini skirt and white top to go with it. I could almost feel his annoyance, but his emotions seemed to minuscule compared to ones that I was feelings. I hated that he was right now. I hated that the second I turned around he would know that something was wrong. I hated that even after so many years and we were now pretty much strangers, he still knew me so well. 

Clearing my throat, hoping my voice doesn't fail me as I speak, I turn towards him, "What Sebastian?"

His eyes narrowed in on me and I couldn't help but feel like I was an experiment he was observing, "What's wrong with you?". 

"Nothing, I'm just tired", my tone is quipped. I couldn't deal with this interrogation right now. 

He cocks his head at me, as if to say, I don't believe you, I think that he isn't going to voice these thoughts until he does, "Why don't I believe you?".

I notice the way his eyes travel down my towel covered body, specifically narrowing in on the scar my collarbone, a curious look glimmering in his blue eyes. Holding my towel a big closer to my body, I reply, "I don't know and I don't fucking care, what do you want Bianchi?".

His eyes leave my scar and look back to my face, "Get dressed, we are going to dinner", is all he says before he leaves the room. 

"Where? And Why?", I yell out to him, but the slamming of the bedroom door leaves me with his answer. 

Tempermentual bitch. 

(1423 words)