The Epitome of Algedonic Love

36: PILGRIMAGE

The term "Pilgrimage" is commonly used to refer to an individual's personal journey through life, either as a broad description of personal development and self-discovery or, in the context of Christianity, to denote a specific spiritual pathway that is believed to lead to an encounter with God.

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❆ CLÍODHNA EISDRACHEN POINT OF VIEW ❆

The air is thick with the scent of blooming flowers and freshly cut grass, providing a calming atmosphere that contrasts with the heaviness of our inner turmoil.

The sun beats down on us, casting dappled shadows on the ground, but we barely notice as we focus on the weighty topic at hand.

Jessica's fingers trace lazy patterns on the tabletop, her eyes fixed on the ground. I can see the pain etched in her features, the way her shoulders slump and her lips press together in a tight line.

It's a pain I know all too well, having walked that same path not so long ago.

The stone chair we're sitting on is rough and uneven, but it provides a solid anchor in this sea of uncertainty. I can feel the coolness of the stone against my skin, a grounding force that helps us stay present in this moment.

Life can be chaotic, and the future is always uncertain.

Jessica sits across from me. Now, her chin resting on her palm, sighing repeatedly.

Her gaze wandering aimlessly. Calmly, I respond with just a soft and volumed down clearing of throat, keeping my eyes focused on the pathway she's staring at.

Eventually, she stood up, picks up a stone, and tosses it into the nearby pond.

The stone skipped three times on the water before sinking completely into the middle. She then grabs another small pebbles and approached me, handed me three stones.

I quickly took them and stood up, walked toward the edge of the pond. 

"Ang hirap magmahal ng straight. Kakaiba rin kasi eh, alam naman ni Eloi na lesbian ako pero ang clingy parin niya sa akin. Tingin ko nga minsan sinasadya niya kasi natutuwa siya sa pagpa-panic ko" she snorted, her voice tinged with frustration. 

Nanatili akong tahimik at hinayaang kunin niya ang pagkakataong ito upang sabihin ang mga bagay bagay na nagpapabagabag ng kanyang damdamin.

"Umamin ako dati sa kanya na gusto ko siya. Na-reject nga ako e kasi straight daw siya. May straight bang nagkaka-crush din sa babae at mas attracted sa babaeng pogi kaysa lalaking pogi? Mas gwapo ka nga sa paningin niya kaysa kina Chase, Saint at sa BF napaka-generic ang mukha" she remarked, wrinkling her forehead before mentioning Jerichos name.

I couldn't help but let a small smile play upon my lips as I heard to her description. Jericho is not ugly; in fact, he's an average Filipino-looking man.

Perhaps it's just love's nature to find flaws even when others can't see them.

Well, if she's using this method to release her frustration, it's okay, as long as she keeps it in her mind. It's a different story if she were to say such things in public.

"Nakakainis, Clio. Tsk!" Her voice suddenly grew louder after a few quiet seconds. The smile on my lips disappeared at tumayo ng maayos saka tumingin sa kanya. Nakatingin siya sa malayo kaya napakamot ako ng batok.

Akala ko ako ang tinutukoy niyang nakakainis.

"Ngayon lang ba nagka-boyfriend si Eloi?" Mahinahong tanong ko, itinatago ang hiyang naramdaman ko dahil sa pagka-assumera ko.