Chapter Thirty Eight 🦋

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Val's POV:

I stormed back to the house, instantly becoming out of breath. That was a common thing for me at the moment. I sat down on the porch, not having enough energy now to make it inside. It hadn't been long until I caught Daryl making his way over to me. A look of concern written on his face. "Sunshine I-" He began, but I wasn't going to listen to it. "I'm gonna stop you right there Daryl." I stated, putting my hand up at him motioning him to stop right where he was. "I don't want to hear it anymore."

"First the prison and now this. After everything we've gone through out there seriously?"

"I'm sick of you and Rick acting like I can't handle the hard work. I get it I'm pregnant, but I'm not helpless."

"I've done a lot of horrible shit in my life before all this, even while pregnant at 16. I know what I can and can't handle. What I'm capable of. Am I terrified something will happen? Absolutely I am, and rightfully so. I don't doubt you are too, and your worried."

"I get your heart is in the right place and that I'm probably the first person that you've been like this with. But there are still things that you don't know, things I've done in my past. This world is like nothing to me, nothing compared to what I went through before."

"Val I-"

"Daryl I can't keep feeling like I should be doing something while you decide to not let me. I feel hopeless, I'm done feeling like it. What's next huh? The baby is going to come whenever it wants to. I'm not going to end up like Lori. And keeping me behind the walls isn't going to change your fear. What if something happens while you're out there? You won't be able to do a thing and you'll blame yourself for whatever it is."

"This is my decision. So I'm going whether you like it or not. I'm safer with you than without you." I said with a sigh, finally getting up and went inside.

♢♢

I could hear the flares shoot up into the air. I kept my head against Daryl's back. Keeping my arms tight around his waist. This sinking feeling wasn't going away. If anything it was only getting stronger the further we go. "Dare," I muttered, the nerves catching up to my tone. "what's wrong sunshine?" he questioned instantly worried.

"I don't know dare, it might just be nothing..."

"but?"

"but... ugh I don't know. I just have a weird feeling about all this."

"what do ye mean?" he asked, confusion written through his voice. "I mean that I gave a bad feeling. Like something bad is going to happen. And I don't know what and that freaks me out." I stated with a sigh of a relief. Finally feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders all though that gut wrenching feeling hasn't disappeared. "we'll be fine sunshine. I promise." Daryl said, trying to comfort me. Only it just made me feel worse. "You can't promise something like that Dare, you know that right. You can't promise that any of us will be fine, or everyone back in Alexandria. You just cant." I frowned.

"I know Sunshine. I'm sorry I was just tryin' to comfort ye." He muttered, I could hear the defeat in his voice. "I know baby. I know." I muttered softly, allowing one of my hands let go of his waist to trace one of his arms.

♢♢

It was full on workday and yet again I was just on the sidelines but at least I was doing something. It was only handing out water with Carol, but it was something. Something Daryl didn't stop me for. I made a few laps around, handing out water to anyone who wanted it. Until I finally made my way to Daryl. "Hey handsome," I greeted, holding a cup out to him. He stopped what he was doing for a brief second turning to face me for only a short moment. "nah sunshine, have it." He huffed, continuing back to shovelling.

"Dare, you need to have a drink." I stated, keeping my hand outstretched.

"Val, I told ye to have it." He sighed with annoyance.

"And I'm telling you that you need it."

"I don't want it Valentina!" He yelled, growing frustrated with my persistence. That was his mistake. The moment he turned around to face me, I tossed the water in his face. He stood shocked at me actions. "there's your water." I scoffed, turning around, and walking away. Was it childish and a waste of water? Yes. Did he deserve it? Honestly he deserved a slap for the tone he gave me so really he was lucky. Was I overreacting? That was a possibility but honestly in this moment I didn't care. It wasn't the first time he had spoken to me like this.

♢♢

Daryl and I weren't talking. He knew he messed up the second I threw water on him. Rick had tried to talk to me but when I wouldn't answer any of his questions, or Carol's I was left alone. That was until Maggie walked over to me. "Hey," She greeted softly. I looked up from the spot on the ground I had spent a while looking at, twisting one of my throwing knives in my hands. "Hey Mags," I muttered.

"What's going on?" She questioned, sitting down alongside me after I had turned my attention back to the knife in my hand. "oh you know the usual, Daryl is worrying about something that he won't tell me about, so he gets frustrated with me instead of just talking to me."

"All because I wanted him to drink some water. That was it." I sighed, starting to feel tears build up in my eyes even though I didn't know I was feeling emotional enough to cry. Maggie stayed silent as she took in everything I just said, while the tears that once threatened to escape now rolled down my cheeks. "Ugh, fucking hormones." I sighed jokingly, wiping the tears away.

"I honestly can't wait till bubs is finally here." I mumbled, rubbing my belly. Really I was just hoping to change the subject. "do you ever get worried?" Maggie questioned.

"About the baby? Of course I do." I sighed.

"honestly, not a day has gone by without me worrying that I will end up like Lori and really I think Daryl is the same way." I muttered, looking over where Daryl was still hard at work. "You know he never really means to yell at you right? He just has a funny way of showing his emotions sometimes." Maggie expressed, looking in his direction as well.

"I know Mags, Its just... ugh. It's just so fucking frustrating sometimes with him. He's just so hot and cold, it's hard to really know with him."

"Yeah I get that." She mumbled.

♢♢

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