Falling from Grace

TWENTY-NINE

Xavier

I lay on the bed, sweat beaded off my chest. I feel Graces head laying on my chest. I run my hands over her hair. The feeling of being inside of Grace was something I would never get used too.

The sound of her moaning, the feeling of her body tightening around me. I would go to war to keep that feeling my whole life, I knew how intense my feelings were for Grace. I knew that I couldn't live without Grace now she was mine.

It was a feeling I had never experienced before, I had never expected to experience. I always heard people say how intense being in love could be, how it would make you crazy. I never knew it could make me this crazy.

I feel Graces fingers run along my chest, I feel her trail her hands up my body. I feel her finger run along my jaw before touching over my scar.

"How did you get this?" She asks me, I would always watch her eyes land on the scar. It was across my lip and down to my chin. I had it for as long as I could remember.

I feel my body stiffen, I didn't share my past with anyone. It was mine, it was something I had wanted to keep to myself. But there was something about Grace, there was never a worry to share my darkest secrets.

"Father used to make sure he was heard, if he wasn't I was punished" I speak, I had the memories of all those beatings. All those moments when he would punish me for the smallest things.

I feel her sit up more to look at me, she moves from laying on my chest to straddle my body. She was still naked, her breasts always captured my eyes and attention. They were perfect, she was perfect.

"He used to hit you?" She questions.

She wasn't from this world, I can't blame her ignorance. But in this world, parents were harsh they did beat their kids. My father was the abuser in my family; my mother wouldn't touch me. She would argue with my father for the way he did touch me.

My mother was a strong women, she never let my father touch her that way. She was the one in control. When my father died, I didn't expect my mother to be upset.

She wasn't at all.

She seemed almost relieved he was gone, I knew they had a world wind romance at first. But after we were born, he became a harsh man.

"A few times, I leaned quickly that I had to listen to him"

"What about this, tell me how it happened?"

I sigh thinking back on the moment my father changed my face.

"I told you to fucking listen!" My father screamed as his hand came down to slap across my face. I fell to the floor, my fathers body was over me.

I feel the tears fall down my face, my father was a scary man. My mother wasn't here, she was out with Rosa. I knew that if she was home I wouldn't be facing his wrath right now.

"Why are you crying boy!" He shouts "You're suppose to be a man!"

This time it wasn't a slap I feel across my face, I feel a punch into my nose. I feel the blood spurt out right away. This could go on for hours, it has done before. All I did was miss hear one order from my father.

I was in training to take over the business, It had always been my role to be the next man in charge. But this came with painful lessons I had to learn. I didn't know why it had to be this way, but it always had been. I was the one that would take over, so I must listen.

I felt another pummel of my fathers fists land on my face, this time he grabs my face holding it tightly. I watch him reach into his back pocket before pulling out a switch blade. My heart rate began to pick up, I knew if I tried to run it would only get worse. So I waited for it.

My father ran the knife down my lip and onto my chin. I cried with pain before he threw my onto the floor. My lip was now in half, I curled into a hall on the floor.

"Perhaps that will teach you to be a man" I feel my father spit at me before he left the room.

He left me there on the floor as I felt my face.

"Xavier" I watch Grace gasp as I finish my story, I was seven when this happened. Only seven years old.

"My Mommà got back not long after, she beat the hell out of him. But I still have the scar to show"

Grace doesn't say much, she just leans down her arms embracing me. I run my hands onto her back as I pulled her body closer to mine, feeling her it was an instant warmth. It was an instant feeling of safety.

I had never felt safe with a person before. But Grace, she was my home.

"You're not like your father you know" She tells me, I guess I never thought about it much, But it was a fear. That when I had kids, I would turn into the man that raised me. I still loved him, he was still my father but he was an evil man.

I don't reply to her, I just stare into space thinking about what could happen if I did turn into him.

Grace pulls away from our embrace, she runs her finger back along the scar I had just told my story about. She looked genuinely concerned for me, there was pain behind her eyes. Like she finally understood why I was the way I was. Why I was so brutal with people.

"You're nothing like him, our kids will be lucky to have you"

My heart stops at the word 'our' she can see it on my face. I wasn't sure if it was panic or just general shock.

"Our kids?" I question her.

"Yes Xavier, one day our kids will be lucky to have you"

I feel so high right now. I know how much I love her, but right it felt like an out of body experience. I could feel the love as if it was a physical, like I was watching the love appear.

I don't speak, my hand reaches up and cups her face. I pull her down to my lips as they connect once again.

I was so deeply and truly in love with Grace Hadley. I would do anything for her, I would give up this entire world for her. I never wanted to give up anything; this was my life. Or it had been for so many years.

But now Grace was my life, she was the one I had to protect. I had to leave this to protect her.