Fear #3

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"Alright, how about we study?" Cho says, walking into her room

"Study? I thought we were gonna chill out"

"Ugh, I wish. I just really want to have good grades" says Cho, flopping onto her bed. I sit on the ground and sigh

"I don't want to study though..."

"I mean, if you want, you can watch a movie on my laptop while I study," Cho says, looking down at me from her bed

"Nah it's fine I have my computer with me," I say, taking my bag from under her desk. Cho nods and takes at her bag, opening it to take out a few thousand notebooks

"You're gonna study all of that?!" I ask, puzzled. Why does someone have to study that much?

"Bin, that's easy for you to say. You don't need to study to get good grades"

"Because I concentrate in class," I say

"No, it's because you have photographic memory." she corrects me. I look at her and frown, feeling slightly hurt. I know that it's easy for me to memorize things, making it useful for my tests, but it's no lie that I still work a lot during class to be able to have good grades. 

I do try. And in Cho's perspective, it almost sounds like she doesn't think that I even attempt to concentrate during class.

I decide to stay silent after that, not just because I don't want to cause a fight with her, but also because she seems way too immersed in her studies. I open my laptop and watch a movie, not that I concentrate on it at all.

It's so scary, for me. It's scary to think that I like Cho so much, but that maybe she doesn't like me as much as I do just because of my personality. I want to change my personality. I would do it, just for her. Will she like me more then? Will she appreciate me more then? Will she give me more attention then? Or will she at least notice more things about me? I don't know, but it's worth a shot.

I stand up from the ground, Cho immediately turning her gaze toward me

"Can you tell me where the bathroom is?" I ask, dusting off my jeans

"Just at the end of the hallway, to the left. Don't go to the right, that's where my brother's room is" She responds, looking back at her work while she talks. I nod and scurry away from her room, approaching the end of the hallway. I pass photo frames, beautiful ancient pictures, and small little sculptures with beautiful flowers. Their parents decorated the house well.

As I approach the end of the hallway, I turn to the door on the right. On purpose. I knock and wait for an answer. Nothing. I knock again. Nothing, once again.

I sigh and open the door cautiously, only to reveal a large room, and a boy sitting on a chair, reading something on a large book.

"Cho, I told you to not bother me while I'm studying," he says, not looking at my direction

"Uh- not Cho..." I say, closing the door behind me. Hao whirls around, surprised by hearing my voice

"What do you want? Does Cho know that you're here" he asks, eyes wider than I've ever seen them. He seems... nervous?

"She doesn't"

"You see, that's the problem. Get out" He says, pointing at the door

"I need your help," I say curtly, not budging

"That's funny. Just a few hours ago you said that if you needed help, you wouldn't ask me" Hao says, crossing his arms and getting up from his chair

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind. I need your help" I say, crossing my arms as well, mirroring him

"With what would you possibly need my help" Hao says mockingly, clearly frustrated that I ruined his studying session

"Well, we talked about how my personality isn't good enough, right? So-"

"No, I never said your personality isn't good enough. I just said that it doesn't match well with Cho's. You could have a personality like the one you have right now and find a person who values that one the most. With Cho, it just doesn't match" he says, stopping me midway through my talk

"Oh. Well, that's why I want to change"

"You want to change... your personality?" Hao says, unsure if he heard me right

"Well, it seemed pretty easy for you to do. If you can do it, why can't I?" I say. Hao looks at me without saying anything. He sighs and sits down on his chair again, turning his back on me. We stay in silence for a while, to the point that I think that Hao forgot that I was here

"Is that a yes...?" I ask. I hear Hao sigh again "You know, I don't know how to communicate through sighs" I speak out sarcastically. Hao turns around to look at me and a grimace forms on his face

"You know why I don't want to help you? Because Cho will eventually find out, and all that teaching will turn out to be for nothing, and she'll hate me for life. And she will separate herself from you" Hao says

"I thought you were gonna say that you didn't want to help me because you don't like me," I say, snickering

"That too," says Hao, a small smile forming on his face, but immediately disappearing. I stare at him for a while, trying to remember the remnant of the smile he gave me. Not a perfect one

"I'll make sure she doesn't find out. I'm doing this for her. I want her to like me more"

"Alright then, first and last time that I'll trust you," Hao says. I nod and pass him my phone number, and as I am about to leave the room, he stops me.

"Hanbin. I just want you to know that it's never good to change your personality for something else"

"You did it though"

"Yeah, I know. And I regret it. I don't know who I really am anymore" he says. I look at him and nod, smiling lightly before leaving the room. 

Does he regret being perfect? I can understand why. I don't blame him. It turned his own sister away from him.




Slightly shorter chapter from the last one, but that's fine!

Some more Haobin is coming our way in the next chapters!! Finally development after 33 chapters 😭😭😭

Idk why but I was so excited to publish this chapter. It's probably because this is where the story will finally start to get interesting yk

Also, HELLO?????!!!!

You're welcome for the large ass screenshot 🤭🤭🤭 

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You're welcome for the large ass screenshot 🤭🤭🤭 

If this is not the man I marry I will actually die 

(stream 'we go' by stray kids)

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