five stages

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Attraction, Curiosity, Fear, Attachment, and Commitment...

I smile as I lead Hao down a road with glaring cars speeding by. People with their own lives just pass by us, and don't know the upcoming feeling of joy that overwhelms me into a continuous smile. I look at Hao, who is looking back at me with a sweet smile. I sigh at the feeling, the butterflies dancing around us, not on my stomach. I feel calm instead, rather than a certain feeling of nervousness


~Attraction~

I see Hao batting his eyelashes, looking towards the horizon as we walk. The sun is present above us, but the only warmth that I feel is from him. Even if the sun illuminates the place from kilimoeters away, I can only see the light in Hao. From that one time that I thought 'no matter what he goes through, and no matter what hurts him, he'll keep a shine somewhere in there to protect, and he will never abandon it. He will fight to protect it.'

Well, I changed my mind. He will not protect it, at least not alone. I will be there

He tilts his head as he sees me watching, and I hear my heart thumping against my chest as our eyes intelock. His eyes look dark, but something within makes me gulp. Beauty.

He's so beautiful

His hair brushes against the light wind, something that I've never seen before. He's not out of reach anymore, and better yet, he is here right next to me.

Something about the way he breathes, he smiles, he looks at me, he smiles again, he takes my hand in his.

I smile back, fazed by the beauty of such a boy, someone who I thought I would never have. He leans his head backward as he stretches, and I watch with fondness I have never felt invade me. A beauty has never made me feel in such a surreal ardour, my heart beating aggresicely as I catch my breath.

Such a magical beauty. The calmness of a lake. The eyes of the galaxy. The voice of a serene book of poems. The smile of a soothing lullaby. The lips of a perfect kiss. The clothes of a passionate person. The person who immitates my other half. My other heart. My key to love.

"Hey? Are you ok?" Hao asks, waving one of his hands in front of my face. I wake up from my trance of observing him. I smile and nod, not finding the words to express my words.

"I'm perfect"

"Where are we going?" Hao asks, staring at the few cars that pass by us. I laugh

"Going to buy ice cream" I say. Hao jumps up in happiness

"Really? Why? It's not even that warm" Hao says

"You like ice cream" I say before pecking his lips, making him quiet down. His ears turn red and I laugh at myself. It's still a feeling that I'm not used to, but I feel the need to do it once in a while. It's a feeling that could make my day, no matter what happens.

Hao smiles before running in front of me. A funny smile is playing on his lips, teasing me to follow him. I laugh and comply, running right after


~Curiosity~

As I see his smile, I can't help but smile back. It contains a different variation of feelings, surprise, confusement, joy, tranquillity.

I still can't figure him out. I don't think anyone has been able to.

Many still see that perfect boy, and sometimes I do too. But that's not all I've seen of him. No, I've seen him truly crying, angry, happy, fearful.

I've seen it, but I know that I haven't seen it all. And surprisingly enough, I don't mind it. Normally, it would have bothered me not knowing everything about a person before fully dedicating my time to them. But I'm not bothered.

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