Sometimes it’s better to keep quiet than to tell others what you feel because you come to learn that they can hear you but will never understand what you feel. Jungkook kept going through my head his wide eyes never leaving me.
It was midnight now and every time I closed my eyes the expression in his face kept appearing.
FLASHBACK(age 9)
I sat by myself in the huge dining room, the sounds of the birds outside could be heard from how silent the house was. I haven’t seen mom or dad since last week tomorrow is my birthday, will I even see them
Aunt Loretta came in and placed a plate of waffles before me.
“Aunt Loretta will you sit with me please?” I asked quietly.
“Ofcourse sweetie”, she said sitting on the chair next to me.
“Should we bake you a cake tomorrow?”
I shrugged putting a slice into my mouth.
“Then what do you want tomorrow? How about we go out to the zoo”
“Im not allowed to go to the zoo”, nor the park or anywhere else that would make me rowdy as mom says.
“Do you think they’ll remember?” I asked Aunt Loretta
“Who? your parents? Of course they will remember, every parent remembers the best day of their lives. You’re the apple of your parents eyes I’m sure they’re planning for your birthday and getting you all kinds of presents as we speak”.
“Really?”
“Ofcourse now eat up so the driver can take you to school”.
Maybe Aunt Loretta was right, they maybe planning a surprise birthday party for me.
But they didn’t come, nor did they call. I waited for them by the front door but I didn’t see their cars. I cried that night, I cried so hard my head hurt.
I saw them the next Friday, mom was talking to a lady and people were running around.
“I expect this party to be perfect, I believe I won’t be disappointed”, mother said to the lady who looked scared but my mind was stuck at party. Was mom finally throwing me a party? She must have felt bad so she did.
I ran and threw myself on here, hugging her waist.
“Robin,what are you doing?” she said scolding me but I didn’t care, this was the best day ever.
“Mom I missed you”, I told her shyly.
“Robin I’m busy right now and where is that nanny? Loretta ! Loretta!”
“Yes ma’am”, Aunt Loretta came in.
“Take Robin out and don’t bring her back till six thirty lest she messes something up”, she said then left.
I was giddy, ecstatic Aunt Loretta took me to the library but she wasn’t happy.
“Aunt Loretta, why do you look sad?”
“I’m not sad dear”
I smiled, “Don’t be sad when I cut my cake tonight I’ll be sure to give you the biggest piece. Do you think it’ll be chocolate? I like chocolate cake, but I’ll like whatever mum gives me”.
I was practically out of the car before the driver even opened my door, cars were lined up in the driveway. There’s so many people! I saw the door open and a familiar form came out, it was my cousin Eva and she was dressed like a princess. They made their way towards us, she was with Uncle Luka her father.
“Robin, you’ve grown so much”, he said.
“Hello, Uncle Luka”
“Hi Robin”, Eva said sweetly and I frowned at her, I did not like Eva she always took mum from me.
I was to make my way inside when Aunt Loretta held me back and shook her head allowing Uncle Luka and Eva to pass and I was confused.
The door opened, and a shout of ‘Surprise' rang out from inside.
Why were they shouting when I wasn’t inside the house yet? The answer was soon clear when I entered inside. A huge happy birthday Eva hanging there, I could see the people moving around inside could feel Aunt Loretta rubbing my back but all I could see was the banner staring back at me as if mocking me.
I looked around and saw mom smiling at Eva, she was squatted down so she could reach her level. She never smiled at me like that, nor did she ever caress my hair the way she was doing to hers. I felt myself getting angry, why didn’t she remember my birthday but she remembered Eva’s? How come she get a princess theme and all I ever got from her were books and sometimes clothes that I didn’t even like? Why? Just why?
“Robin come here and wish Eva a happy birthday”, mother said as she stood up. I stared at them, they looked perfect like mother and daughter and I was the stranger looking in.
“Robin, did you hear what I just said. Come wish Eva a happy birthday”
My mind went back to the day of my birthday, how I waited for her call for anyone of them to wish me a happy birthday.
“No”, I said
“Excuse me?”, mother said as if she misheard.
“I won’t wish her a happy birthday”, I said angrily, the attention was now on us
“Robin I won’t repeat myself again, now come here and wish Eva a happy birthday”
“No!,” I shouted “Why should I wish her a happy birthday? This was supposed to be my party but it’s hers instead. Why didn’t you have a party for me mommy? I won’t wish her a happy birthday I hate her!”, tears were streaming down my face.
“Robin”, I heard a voice call out and looked behind me to see my father. He was holding apple juice with ice cubes in it and was next to some men.
“Take Robin to her room and let her stay there she’s not allowed to come out till I say so”, he said coolly to Aunt Loretta and she nodded and took my hand leading me upstairs.
I could hear them singing happy birthday to her as I sat on my bed, tears streaming down my face.
Every sound of happiness that went on that night equaled fresh tears. Aunt Loretta accompanied me, hushing me telling me it was going to be okay but in that moment I felt alone, I felt as if I was a stranger in my own body and all that happened didn’t happen to me but some one else who looked like me
**********************
Yeah those were good times, especially the beating I got from father saying I was embarrassing him in front of his associates . How the hell would I know who his associates were when he’s never home. I scoffed turning to my side, of course my situation and Jungkook’s is totally different.
He misses the company he had with his brothers but now they’re all doing there thing and he’s just locked up inside his house with Bam. No, this can’t do, his ass is going outside whether he likes it or not.
“Get dressed we’re going out”, was the first thing I said when I arrived the next morning.
He looked at me questioningly, “Come on Jungkook, the sun is up the air is fresh and we’re not staying a minute in this place.”
“Seonsaengnim, people could recognize me outside”.
“Don’t worry about that just put on a cap and clothes that hide your tattoos, here I got you these gloves”, I told him handing him a pair of gloves . He looked like he was about to protest and I crossed my arms over my chest daring him to open his mouth.
He sighed and gave up taking the gloves instead.
“Hiya Bam”, I said to him as I petted his head absentmindedly.
We were going to the park, I’d give him his lesson there then I’d take him to my favorite food place. I know I’m not the best at spontaneous planning but give a girl some credit.
STAI LEGGENDO
Theory of Love
FanfictionLove? She didn't want it, she'd even go as far as saying it didn't exist then he comes in and gives her his all but she's always been good at running.
