Sweet Creature (jemily)

Chapter Seventeen

"I'm sorry, I can't find a heartbeat."

After she heard those words, she didn't hear anything else. She didn't hear Emily trying to soothe her, she didn't hear the doctor trying to speak, she didn't even hear the sound of her own crying.

When Dr. Kenson left, JJ had the cuts on her stomach stitched closed by a different doctor. She remained completely motionless during the whole thing.

Emily sat with her and held her hand but JJ didn't even realize she was there. She couldn't feel anything.

Dr. Kenson talked to Emily since JJ was pretty much unresponsive. She said that they would fly back to DC and JJ would see her regular doctor for what to do next. Emily heard everything, but she also felt like her insides were crumbling down. She knew this would break JJ and she couldn't stand watching it.

After what felt like forever they could finally leave the hospital. They had to fly back to DC on the jet. While they were driving to the airstrip Emily was still holding JJ's hand.

"I want to go home," JJ said softly. It was the first thing she'd said since she told Emily she hadn't felt the baby move.

"We will. We have to go to the hospital when we land. Then we'll go home," Emily told her. "My baby's dead. Going to the hospital won't change that. I want to go home," she sniffled.

"They have to make sure you're okay. You could get sick, if they don't take care of this," Emily told her. "Fine," JJ replied, her tone flat. "I don't care."

When they got on the jet it was silent. Nobody could speak. Even if they could, they had no idea what to say. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

Nobody talked about the fact that Emily and JJ had kissed. It didn't seem appropriate. They had no idea how to relate to what JJ was feeling. They just couldn't.

Emily and JJ sat next to each other and JJ fell asleep on Emily's shoulder. She was so exhausted from everything and sleep seemed to be the easiest escape from the terrible reality.

When the jet landed, everybody just went their separate ways. Emily drove JJ to the hospital and when they got there JJ began to cry again.

Emily changed her into another hospital gown. It was like it was just happening all over again.

As they waited for Dr. Montgomery to come in, Emily stroked her fingers through JJ's hair. "I love you," she said softly.

JJ's body was trembling and she shut her eyes again to try and escape the situation. Emily leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek, tasting the tears that were running down her face.

When Dr. Montgomery came into the room she wasn't wearing her usual cheery smile. Her face was solemn.

She sat down in the chair and faced JJ. "I need to do another internal ultrasound to see how everything looks. Since you're past 20 weeks, we'll induce labor. You'll give birth to your baby, you'll get to hold her for the first time. Then we'll take the next steps, you can decide what you want to do beforehand. Some mothers choose to cremate and some decide on a burial, it's your choice."

JJ's breathing had become so fast that Emily was scared she was going to pass out. She continued to brush back her hair, trying whatever she could to keep her calm. Dr. Montgomery placed her hand on JJ's knee. "I'm so sorry that this happened."

Emily watched JJ's face drain of color. Her cheeks were tinted green. Luckily Emily knew her well enough to know that she was about to throw up. She was able to grab a bin and stick it under her before she vomited.