Why Stay When No one Cares?

Chapter 25: Trying to Make it Right

*Timeskip: 4 days later*

*Taco's P.O.V*

It's been '2' days since my and Balloon's falling out. I haven't had the motivation to do anything, or really eat much. I've just been snacking on small things.

I have to put in an order for more groceries soon, but how am I going to get them? I can't go too far, and if I put the order, who will get them? Mic is out of the piture, and so is Balloon currently.

I could ask Knife to help. But I'm probably the last face he wants to see. I don't have anyone else. God, I'm so pathetic.

I continue to sit on the floor of my room. I can feel my ass becoming numb, but I don't care. So, this is how it feels to be absolutely helpless huh?

God, I wish Balloon was here, he would try and cheer me up. Then, she would get himself upset because of their past and I would have to cheer xmm up. Heh, such good times.

Times I'm never going to have again. I ALWAYS fuck things up. I fucked up my friendship with Balloon. My friendship with Mic. And... My friendship with Pickle.

I don't know why I ever betrayed Pickle in the first place. Looking back now, I was so much more happier with him. I took my friendship with him for granted. I took everyone for granted back then.

I should've just stayed quiet and not betrayed everyone. Maybe then, I would've had a better life. My life was miserable for the past 6 years, and it was starting to get better!

But I just had to fuck it all up. I just had to be so stubborn and keep my eyes on the prize. I should've just opened my eyes and see the bigger picture. I didn't need the money, I just needed friends.

I couldn't even keep that in check. I betrayed my first friend who actually wanted to be friends with me. I then betray my friend who wanted to try and help me. Then I take the biggest blow and hurt my friend who was actually changing me.

Some friend I was to all 3 of them. My parents were right. I was never going to gain any friends with my persona. And look where it got me. Friendless and heartbroken.

*Growl* Oh. My stomach was growling again. I didn't care, I was going to starve myself until I pass out. I felt weak in this state, not that it mattered.

My eyes were still wet with my current tears. I wanted to wipe them away, but I didn't. I knew I was still gonna cry so I just let them flow down. I feel so... helpless.

Why did I have to hurt everyone I knew? I was such a manipulative person. Balloon was right, he shouldn't have trusted me. 

Why did I yell at Balloon like that!? I knew she was sensitve emotionally! Yet, I had the fucking audacity to yell at them! To bring up his season 1 persona no less!

I devserve all the hate in the world right now. I can't make up for this mess I got myself into. I want to make it right, but I knew I couldn't. 

It was far too late for any type of apology. To Pickle, to Mic, to Balloon. I couldn't apologize to them. Not anymore.

I hear something. No, it was someone? I couldn't tell. I just know I was crying. Why did I see a pink figure in front of me? My vision was so blurry, I couldn't see anything.